Our Romantic Horror Story

VI

Dylan

The schools visitor was some actor named Alex Hill. I had been briefed about him by Kai, who had described him as 'inconceivably hot' and one of the best actors of our generation. Who the other best actors of our generation were, I had no clue. Alex Hill was known for acting in horror films, according to Kai, and had been doing so for the last ten years. He had tried to get me to watch one of his films last night, but I was too busy rehearsing for my performance to check one out with him.

I didn't really understand why he was asked to guest lecture at a university. This sort of thing definitely wouldn't happen in the law department. Kai had said that he was a local star, and that a lot of people studying film were actors themselves or wanted insight into how the film industry works from an actors point of view. I still didn't really get it. Sure, he's successful in his field of work but what would university students who major in Physics benefit from a lecture from this guy? Why is everyone else going?

I bopped my head as people rushed around me, my fingers twitching as I thought about my piano piece. I was about to run through my performance with a music professor who oversaw the societies performances and helped mentor me.

Looking back, I could see Kai beaming at me in support, sending me a thumbs up and mouthing 'knock 'em dead'. Once again, I frowned at that. The professor then made everybody get into place for our final practise before the real thing.

It went well, which helped to dispel some nerves, but not entirely. I was still nervous. More nervous than when I had come out as gay to my parents. It was funny, really, how people get stage fright, or rather it's funny that it's called stage fright. I mean, it's not like I'm actually scared of the stage itself. Just performing on it. Shouldn't it be called performance fright? Or audience fright? Since the audience aspect was what was the most daunting.

Standing up here took a lot of vulnerability because music was so personal for me. It was my interest that I used as an outlet for everything. My passion. Not being able to gauge their reactions from this distance with the lights blaring in my eyes was troubling me; how would I know if they hated it?

The auditorium was filling up slowly with thousands of unrecognisable faces. I had never seen this many people in a lecture theatre before; usually my lectures were pretty empty, bar a few sleepy faces that always sat in the back. Especially the morning ones.

I pulled at my collar, wishing that I didn't have to wear a button down. It felt claustrophobic to have something so tightly buttoned around my neck and I was scared I would start choking or something. What if it effected my singing abilities? I should have rehearsed with a shirt on to see if it made any difference; I'd have to do that next time, but now it was too late. I had been fine during rehearsals, so it should be okay.

Making my way out onto the stage, my fingers twitched as I took a seat at the grand piano. Adjusting myself on my seat, I bopped my head and let my fingers rest on the keys. Breathing deeply, I pressed down on the first chord before moving into the song.

As I was playing, I began to forget that the audience even existed, losing myself in the song. The words flowed out of me and I bopped my head along to them, filling the entire auditorium with the help of the microphone that rested on top of the piano. As I finished my solo section, the curtain behind me opened up and the rest of the choir joined in to assist me in finishing the song.

Now that my solo was over, the attention was off of me slightly and I relaxed, my fingers continuously flying over the keys to accompany the choir. The sound they made together was flawlessly rehearsed, which had taken a lot of practice with the music professor. At one point I was sure that he was going to rip out his own hair with frustration.