Saturday Nights (BxB)| ✓

moving on

I can barely open my eyes from the pounding in my head the next morning. Of course, I have a migraine. Next to me, Louise is still snoring, one hand draped over my shoulder. I move her hand away and tip toe to the bathroom.

What I see in the reflection of the mirror almost startles me. I look like shit. I guess I hadn't noticed what being without Greene had done to me. Yesterday probably made things worse. My usually light blue eyes are more gray, and I look tired. Mentally and physically.

I decide I don't want to keep pitying myself. Greene let go of me, and it's time I let go of him. Summer has started and I have better things to worry about. With one last determined glance in the mirror, I  go take a quick shower and change into the clothes I've packed.

Louise is up by the time I'm out of the shower, sitting on the bed while rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning," she smiles sleepily at me.

"You should go back to bed," I laugh. She's never been a morning person.

"Nah, I'm hungry." Grabbing my hand, she leads me downstairs to the kitchen, where her mother is cooking.

She hugs me in greeting and silently passes me a plate stacked with pancakes and bacon, with a small boat of condensed milk. I told her I preferred it over syrup, once when I was eleven, and she's given it to me ever since. Louise, finds it weird.

"I hope you slept well," she says, smiling warmly at me. It makes me want to cry, but I force a smile back, and nod. As Louise and I eat our food, her father walks in, dressed in an expensive looking suit. It looks a little too expensive, for someone who has an office job.
Which makes me wonder what exactly Mr Anders does, and why Louise says he's dangerous.

"I'll be back in a week." He says, kissing his wife and daughter on the cheek. He turns to me, and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Alex, hang in there. Our house is always open to you. Yes?"

I nod and look at Louise, who looks like she might cry too. Mrs Anders tries to lighten the mood by changing the subject.

"So, you two have any plans for the summer?" She asks.

Louise immediately lights up and says, " Alex and I are getting jobs at the giftshop by the beach."

"We are?"

"You are?"

Mrs Anders and I ask at the same time. Louise nudges me on the arm with an accusatory look.

"Yes. We are. We talked about this for weeks, Alex."

When Mrs Anders looks away, her expression changes to just-play-along.

"Oh yeah. I totally forgot. Yup." I end with a nervous laugh.

Louise face palms, but immediately smiles when her mom gives her a suspicious look. "For the whole summer?"

"Yeah. The whole nine-to-five. Just me and Alex. Working."

She doesn't sound convincing in the least, but her mother just nods and looks away.

"Well, as long as you're occupied."

After breakfast, Louise offers to walk me to my house, but I decline. I know I have to go there alone. Face my parents alone. I'm not exactly looking forward to confronting my dad, given the way he reacted yesterday, but I'm going to have to eventually. Might as well do it now.

When I open the front door, I see Andy in the living room with his friend, watching tv. As soon as he sees me he runs to me and gives me a hug is didn't know I needed.

"I love you the way you are," he whispers in my ear, and if it weren't for the fact that his friend is watching us, I would've broken down.

"Thanks, little bro." I ruffle his hair and offer to take him and his friend for ice cream later. They both start animatedly talking about ice cream flavors, when Dad walks down the stairs. Frowning.

"Alex." He says. "Come with me." I silently follow him out the front door and out into the road. We start walking slowly.

I dont know what to say. When I glance ocer at him, he looks deep in thought. So we continue to walk in silence, down the cul-de-sac.

"When I was your age I thought I had everything planned out. " He finally says.

"I knew where I was going to go to college, I knew what job I was going to get. I knew who I was going to marry. " He points behind him, probably meaning Mom back at the house.

"I thought I had it all figured out. My big plan. But you know what happened? You came along. You completely disrupted all my plans. And your mother's. But you also made me the happiest man alive.

"I raised you, Alex. I taught you how to tie your shoelaces. How to throw a baseball. I picked you up when you fell down on that red bike and scraped your knee. I thought I was doing everything right."

"You were..." I say.

"Obviously not." His voice has a sharp edge to it. "I obviously did something wrong, because look at you. Gay."

He says gay as if it's the worst thing you could think of. 

"I don't support what you are, Alex. I don't know if I ever will. And I don't think I can ever look at you the same. But. You are my son. And... No matter what you did, you'd still be my son. I might've been too harsh yesterday."

There's nothing I can do but nod. And look away. What do I say to that?

We turn back and start walking back home, still in silence. I only decide to speak once we're on our driveway.

"I don't expect you to support me, Dad. I think I've always known that you never would. All I want is for you to know that this is my decision, this is how I feel. And it doesn't mean I'm a different person. I'm still me. Alex. And that isn't going to change because of who I like."

Dad looks at me, clears his throat, and nods. He has nothing else to say too. I don't blame him, this must be a lot to take in. I should've have expected this type of reaction.

He does, however, lightly pat my shoulder before heading into the house, and thats all the reassurance I need that, maybe, things will be okay.

•••

This was a tough chapter to write, ngl. Hope you enjoyed reading!