Vigilante x Male Reader

A Danger to a Senator

y/n pov

"I did kidnap a couple for a minute." "Evan and Amber Calcaterra. Can you take care of 'em? You want me to "take care of 'em" like..." "No, just... Just convince them not to finger Peacemaker." "More like, um... I have no clue what that is. Why are we playing charades" "Cause I don't want to say it out loud. I still don't know what that is." "Leota." "Bribery?" "Yes, please. Go do it. Now. I need Harcourt and Economos here. Otherwise, I'd send them. y/n I want you to go with her as well." "Yes sir." I told him and I left with Adebayo.

"So do you have any idea with what to bribe them with?" "No, but I'll think if something don't worry." "I'll try not to." I told her as she kept driving to the apartments.

Time Skip

"Mr. and Mrs. Calcaterra, I'm gonna ask you some questions. And yes, this is a real badge. fսck. "Evan, I can open the door myself." "I'm being a gentleman, you fսck¡n' asshole." "Dick." "Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Calcaterra." "Yeah?" "Uh, I was just wondering if you would, um, answer a few questions for me." "We're on the way to, uh, the station now to look at mugshots."

"Yeah, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Firstly, I'm wondering whether you saw the guy in your apartment that you think you saw, or did you maybe see another guy that you actually didn't see but you think you did? And secondly, I'm wondering if you've ever had an all-expenses-paid trip to the beautiful Lake Tahoe, Nevada?" "Nice." "Are you trying to fսck¡ng bribe us?" "No." "God dammit." "Oh. I was hoping you were trying to bribe us." Yeah, yeah, we're trying to bribe you."

"Well." "Fucking take the bribe Evan." "I fucking was Amber, jesus." He said and I gave him the tickets, he closed the door and more yelling from the couple was heard from inside. "Mission success?" "Yes, I would call that successful." I told her and she nodded as we left the complex.

Time Skip

I sighed as I sat down in my room, the shelf next to me shook and a small roll of toilet paper hit my head. It rolled down and into my lap, I picked it up and lit it on fire before crushing it with my hand.

I then looked at my hand and saw nothing but specks of what remains of the toilet paper roll, I chuckled a little before putting it in the trash can. I then plugged myself into my charging outlet before going into recharge mode.

3rd pov

y/n was woken up by Murn, banging on his storage room door. He got up and walked out, "Come on, we have a senator to kill." "Got it." He said before getting his weapons, he then met up with the others outside getting the van ready.

"I'm gonna be honest about something here. Homunculi freak me the fuck out." "Homunculi?" "Yeah." "It's plural for homunculus. It's a tiny miniature person." "I don't like what they fuckin do." "Excuse me." "Hey, Doll man, you ever meet him?" "Doll man?" "He turns small." "I do not like his quote on quote superpower." "He calls himself Doll Man?" "Yeah. Barest M82?" "Yep." "Nice. You ever seen a one millimeter finger? Gives me the heebie-jeebies." Peacemaker said as he walked out of the hq.

"Nobody told me I had to deal with a fuckin homunculi." "Well, who's saying you gotta deal with them now?" "You kidding me? I found a miniature spaceship in the apartment of the chick I had sex with you guys know. The one who was really into having sex with me she came like, four times." "Unnecessary detail that didn't need to be shared." "We know who she is. And like what y/n said we don't need to know how much she enjoyed having sex with you." "She honestly could have had faked the orgasms anyways." "Why would she do that?" "To not make you feel bad, humans are weird with people they like." "You can shut your fucking mouth tincan, and what if it's a clue?" "It's not."

"Fair. I was trying to slip it into a conversation. Hope nobody noticed. My bad. Still, fuckin hate homunculi." "Where's this tiny spaceship now?" "Adebayo's desk, under my lunch." "John." "Oh, fuck." "Hey, I want it back when you're done with it, Dye-Beard!" He yelled before John turned to flip him off as he walked inside.

"Oh, shit. Is project butterfly homunculi that team up with hardbodied sluts that wanna control us?" "No, but who's the guy that's peeking out behind the trashcan?" "I thought it was a homeless man." "Fuck, it's, it's Vigilante. He's trying to be helpful." "Hey! Get out of here!" "What? I'm just looking from behind the trashcan. It's a normal thing to do." "The hell it is!" "Are you a psychiatrist?" "What?" "I have the information that one would have." "Then only the hot one, next to Peacemaker can tell me what's normal! Maybe my secret identity is a psychiatrist and I know what's normal." "Sir, that's far from normal."

"If you're a psychiatrist, we're all screwed. Get the fuck out of here!" She yelled to him as he walked away but he then turned back to them. "I was about to go, and then you had to say that. Now if I acquiesce, I'll look and feel small." "Vij, bro, come on. Be cool." "I just want to make sure you're okay. I don't trust these people, and I wanted to get his number." He said pointing to y/n.

"I'm fine, and I don't think he has a phone." "I do, I was not going to give it to him anyways." "Just remember, even if they end up being okay to "work with", they're still not going to be good friends, he would is good husband material. But none of them is the type to be a best friend!" "Okay." "I'm chuckling even thinking about it, but he gives me a boner when I think about him." "Can I shoot him?" "No." "Okay bro." "If one of them does become your friend, it should be her, because there's a bunch of rumors going around about your being a racist, and, you know, frankly it's a little embarrassing for me. As if I become racist by osmosis, even though I mostly kill white people, so... catch you guys later and I will get your number handsome." He said before waving at us and running away.

"Isn't that guy wanted in multiple counts of murder?"