LoveBites || #NONC2022

2.1 Ghosts

The sunny cheer of the pine and lemon kitchen, heavy with the wafting scent of apples and caramel and cinnamon, did little to brighten my dark thoughts.

"Kate, honey." Anna's soft timbre tugged guiltily at my heart. Despite the fact that I hadn't explained why I'd taken a leave of absence, she had already voiced a few suspicions. Namely that the darkness and burnout of the Emergency Department had finally caught up with me, and I'd rightfully had "a bit of a breakdown." I didn't correct her. It was close enough. I was supposed to be convincing her that I wasn't a basket case. She'd already offered her guest bedroom and a paycheck, I couldn't ask her to be my emotional-support-dog too. "There's no shame in taking a break."

I quickly returned to rolling out the chilled dough she'd asked me to place in the pie tin.

"I'm fine," I said automatically. Christ. My mantra again. "I got distracted."

"Thinking about Dane?" she asked with a grin. Anna playfully fanned herself with the caramel-coated spatula. "Do you think he'll text?"

She didn't notice that I'd flinched at his name.

I hadn't told her that the date had ended with him biting me. How could I? It would have sounded insane. Firstly, because normal dates didn't end with being bitten to the point of bleeding. Or, at least, nonconsenually bitten. And secondly, because there was no mark on my neck.

Despite the fact that I knew Dane had bitten me, there was no evidence to prove it. The skin across my throat was perfectly intact, unblemished, without even the faintest traces of a hickey...much less the assault against my jugular.

According to Anna, he had—very charmingly, per her version—brought me back to her condo with a smile and an apology. It's my fault, he'd told her. Too much wine.

Between complimenting his manners and fawning over his man bun, Anna had gently teased me: I haven't seen you so drunk since that SAE party where you... I had stopped listening. I did not need to relieve my college days of flip cup and keg stands. They had been embarrassing enough the morning after much less nearly ten years later. My tolerance for binge drinking had apparently slipped since then. Blacked out after two glasses of wine? Even more embarrassing, was Anna's description of my drunken babbling about Dane. So handsome...even though he ordered for me...I would do some things to him.

Much worse than the drunkenness and the desperate, humiliatingly horny affection for a man who was likely a gaslighting cannibal, was the new darkness that haunted my dreams.

The memories of Julia, awoken during that "kiss," tormented me. The strangled lilt in her voice. The marks on her pale arms. The smell of rust and oil. The broken pieces left my nerves frayed and my sleep fractured. As hard as I tried to cling to that flash of remembrance, the details fell through my fingers like water. My faulty memory was the only proof I had of Dane the-bath-salts-vampire, and if I could barely trust it, how could I expect anyone else to? And so I made my mouth smile.

"I doubt it," I forced myself to say. "He only has your number, doesn't he?"

Anna returned to stirring. "Yes, and I've been manically checking my phone for you. You're a total babe. How could he not want a second date?"

I laughed and gestured to my current outfit. My college hoodie was ratty and faded, my bike shorts covered in flour. The runway look was completed by fuzzy socks and fuzzier slippers.

With a faux-flirtatious growl, Anna winked. "I stand by my statement."

My laughter rang a breath more sincere. In that brief moment, I felt warmer and happier and safer than I had in weeks. I was with my best friend making mini apple pies for a bougie baby shower. How could anything be wrong?