𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 ⸻ 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗋

→ chapter three.

Pain ripped through Leah as Jared showed no mercy, just like the rest of the Pack. There was no hesitation as he sank his teeth deep into back of her shoulder, drawing a burst of hot blood that dribbled to the forest floor. His thoughts were nothing more than a mishmash of rage and the urge to make her pay for her disrespect. 

Even though she wanted nothing more than to fight back, opposition and protecting herself required energy she couldn't muster. So she stood there, focusing on each fresh bout of pain that lanced her body as Jared viciously attacked her again and again, blinded with mate rage.

His words from that long ago day resurfaced, painful and powerful. You delight in making everyone around you miserable, he'd told her callously, harshly. His face had been twisted with his anger. 

Maybe he'd been right. That she was happy when everyone else was as unhappy as she was, that she dragged them onto her level.

Blood was spreading across her side where he'd caught her with his razor-sharp claws, and it hurt to breathe. She couldn't tell where each of his attacks would come from, and each time, the pain would blindside her and steal her breath. Everything inside of her clamored for release, for the sharp tang of blood in her mouth as she gave Jared blow-for-blow. The wolf inside of her howled for retribution, to put this pup in his place, to make him submit to her. This was disrespect at its finest, and there wasn't a part of her body that didn't ache to make him regret this. Her vision blurred with both strain of not attacking back and blood that had streamed into her face. Somehow she managed though just barely.

He circled her and looked at her wounds with no small amount of both satisfaction and pleasure. He liked hurting her. He liked putting her in her place, especially because no other Pack brother would step in to stop it. With no one in the way, he was free to hurt her as badly as he wanted.

Jared huffed, the sound full of pride at her wounds and disgust at her existence. Just face the truth: the world would be a much happier, brighter place if you were gone. There wasn't an ounce of kindness or regret in his eyes when she looked into his face, to try to see if he had any love for her, as his Pack sister. It was devoid of any emotions outside of triumph and blood lust.

A crippling sort of weight made itself known. It was a combination of everything that had happened to her in the last year—losing Sam, Emily's betrayal, the "bear" attack that left her scarred for life, her first Phase, Harry's passing. It was never-ending, the pain being dished out to her, and each one threatened to topple her or drag her beneath the water's surface. Her head rang with Jared's cruel remarks, and her ears flicked against the shrill silence.

She wanted death. That would be a sweet reprieve from the nightmare her life had become. Maybe Jared was correct, that everything would right itself if she left the world behind. It seemed like that would be action to tip the scales of Fate back into order, to bring back balance, to pay for all the horrible, nasty, wretched things she'd said since the night her human life was ended.

Now that she was a wolf, she healed quick but even preternatural healing abilities probably couldn't survive the thousands of ways to take her own life. Those frightening, terrifying yet enticing thoughts filled her mind. It wasn't like she had anyone that would mourn her. The Pack would be free of her condemnation, Emily would no longer be victimized, Sue could move on, and Seth...Seth wouldn't see Harry's face every time he looked at her.

Jake's loud, deep bark cut through all the cacophony of the Pack mind and demanded all attention.

She quickly hid her thoughts and poured all her focus at the sight before her.

Jared was quick to pin blame on Leah, the way it always was. Some things never changed, even if she did. He said that she was a total bitch and how he didn't know why Jake had saved her from that newborn. He'd said as much even in human form. 

Jake's snarl was reverberating and loud, cutting Jared's tirade off. His lip curled over his long, yellowed teeth. What's going on? His black eyes met Leah's, sweeping over her, and then zeroed in on the blood in her fur. Jared, what the hell did you do?

The Pack mind was flooded with Paul's unbiased account of events. It was bizarre to see the brutal attack from someone else's perspective, to feel the echo of her pain and Jared's rage, to see her lack of reaction. She didn't even recognize herself, standing stock-still, nonreactive, unresponsive.

Jake's reaction said it all—that he understood the anger, the quicksilver reaction, but not the continuing of it, even with Leah's lack of defense. How Jared had continued to attack as she stood there.

Leah let her lip curl a little bit, too tired to do much else.

Jared's reply was the same, that she was awful and cruel and ungrateful and thus deserved everything and more. He was pulling at straws. 

As much as the Pack tried to control their thoughts with the exception of Paul, the wolves slipped up. Errant thoughts often floated through the Pack mind on lazy patrols, and it was unrealistic to expect her to control her thoughts when he'd never ask the same of his Pack brothers. But that was Leah's way of life, the curse of being the only female wolf; her Pack was given all the liberties that she wasn't. The hypocrisy of it used to set her teeth on edge but now it was just a fact of Pack life for her.

Paul snarled, his teeth snapping together. His growling filled the air, displaying all of his anger and annoyance with Jared. He snapped his jaws, his teeth clicking, the threat clear. That Jared needed to leave before Paul made him.

Jared whimpered, but Paul took a step towards him, and Jared seemed to realize that his pleas weren't placating anyone, let alone Paul or Jake. With a quick glance at his brothers, Jared's gaze swung to her and tightened at the corners, hardening. And then he was gone, darting into the brush. Within minutes, his footfalls had faded into silence. 

Paul snorted.

Out of all her brothers, Paul was the one Leah liked the most, next to Embry; he didn't make double-edged comments about her or bring up imprinting or the engagement announcement. He didn't paint her as this bitter harpy that couldn't move on from her ex and hated everyone because of it. If she pushed, he pushed right back; if she screamed at him, he got right up in her face. He didn't tip-toe around her but he had never been outright cruel; mean, yes, but he was mean to everyone.

His charcoal-black eyes met hers. He bumped her a little, his way of comforting her, and his cold nose snuffed at the back of her neck, grumbling at the blood he found there.

Jake brushed her only once, asking if she was alright, and it was barely a graze but it was enough to ignite that familiar, boiling rage inside of her. She ignored its sharp tang that filled her mouth.

It was all too easy to fall back into old habits, and that scared her more than she was willing to admit.