Jason Isaacs Character Oneshot

Incorrect Quotes

Y/N: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Hook: *turning to Lucius* How tall are you?

Y/N: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, DJ?
DJ: ... No.
Ronald: I do!
Y/N: I know, Ronald.
Ronald: I'm sad!
Y/N: I know, Ron.

Y/N: Tavington and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Lucius: *Sighing* What did Tavington do?
Y/N: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Tavington: Who wants a steering wheel?

Y/N: *Accidentally hits Tavington in the face*
Y/N: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Y/N: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Tavington: What's wrong with you?!

Y/N: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Michael Caffee: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Y/N: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Y/N: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!
Father Richard: Really? Name one law
Y/N: Don't kill people?
Father Richard: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Y/N: Am I going too far?
Lorca: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Y/N: Change is inedible.
Clark Devlin: Don't you mean inevitable?
Y/N, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Y/N: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
DJ: Killed without hesitation.
Y/N: No.

Y/N: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I'M SORRY]
Volmer: What's that?
Y/N: Remorse code.
Volmer: I'm even angrier now.

Y/N: Ron and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Ronald: Sentences.
Y/N: Don't interrupt me.

Y/N: How do I deal with my enemies?
Percy: Kill them
Y/N: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution
Percy: Kill them only a little?

Y/N: Okay, truth or dare?
DJ: Truth
Y/N: How many hours have you slept this week?
DJ:
DJ: ...Dare
Y/N: Go to bed.
DJ: I don't like this game.

Y/N: Fuck.
Jason Isaacs: We've got to work on your cursing.
Y/N: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Y/N: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Keegan: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Y/N: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Tavington: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Y/N: Yes!
Hook: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Y/N: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Lucius: How am I supposed to know?
Tavington: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Lucius: *sighs*
Lucius: You wouldn't be trapped.

Y/N: Clark and I don't use pet names.
Michael Caffee: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Y/N: Honey?
Clark: Yes, dear?
Y/N:
Michael Caffee: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Y/N, trying to ask Percy out: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Lucius: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

Y/N: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Lucius does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?
Ronald: If Lucius were to jump off a cliff, he would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Lucius jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Y/N: You jump off a cliff!
Ronald: Gladly. Provided Lucius did first.

Y/N: WHY. why did you give Lucius a KNIFE?!
Hook: I'm sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Y/N: Now I feel unsafe!
Hook: I'm sorry.
Hook: ... would you like a knife?

Y/N, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Father Richard: But – that's just a trash can.
Y/N: It sure is!

Y/N: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Charlie: You need to stop.

*Y/N and Zhukov skipping stones on lake*
Y/N: It's such a beautiful evening.
Zhukov, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Y/N: Hey Gabriel can I get a sip of your water?
Gabriel: It's not water.
Y/N: Vodka, I like your style!
Gabriel: It's vinegar.
Y/N: Wh-Wha-
Gabriel: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Y/N: You love me, right, Johnny?
Johnny: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

Y/N: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Major Briggs: Mind your language!
Y/N: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???
Major Briggs:
Y/N: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Y/N, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Waylon: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Lucius, running into the room panting: Sorry, I'm late I was.... doing... something.
Tavington, coming in after him: He pushed me down the fucking stairs!
Lucius: Push is such a strong word, I'd prefer to use, giving you a little nudge
Tavington: *Grabs Lucius' shirt* oh I'll give you a nudge when I shove my foot up your ass!
Lucius: Hey! *points to Y/N* watch your fucking language in front of the child

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