Daire and Aspen

Chapter 4: Aspen

Seven months later

Somehow, Daire and I have been together -- but still not labeled -- for seven months. But that's all about to end, I have no doubt. 

"Hey, little one," he said to me with the big smile he saves for me as I walked into his office. When I didn't walk over to him right away, his eyebrows drew down.

"I need to talk to you," I began.

Those gorgeous eyes suddenly turned wary. "Doesn't sound good."

Deciding to just rip it off like a band-aid, I blurt, "I'm pregnant."

Dead.

Silence.

And while both of us are busy not saying anything, staring at each other, his face turns to stone.

Cold.

Infuriated.

Betrayed.

"I told you what would happen if you ever tried to trap me with a baby." His tone was so cold it sent a chill racing down my spine. This is not a man to cross, I was reminded.

"You did," I said calmly. "But I'm not trying to trap you. I'm doing you the courtesy of informing you that you're going to be a father. Let me be clear that I'm not asking you for anything: no support, no involvement, nothing. I just didn't want you to think I kept this from you. It felt wrong not letting you know you're going to be a father."

"Wrong," he snarled. "I'm not going to be a father. You can get an abortion and then get out of my life."

He hurled his coffee mug against the wall, where it shattered, sending coffee and ceramic shards flying everywhere.

"You fucking bitch, you thought this was your golden ticket to trap me for good, didn't you?"

"Not true," I tried to speak. "Daire, I swear I didn't plan this."

He pointed a finger right in my face. "Shut your fuckin' mouth! Let me tell you how this is gonna go. You leave here and never contact me again. I don't want to see you, hear from you, or be contacted in any way by you ever again. You and your bastard don't exist for me. You come into my presence again, and I will make you regret ever meeting me. You got it?"

I waited a beat, staring into the eyes so filled with rage and hatred that I couldn't see any evidence of the man I loved in there. He was gone, apparently, replaced by a man who was capable of spewing such vileness that I was shocked. I lifted my chin, "Completely."

"If I start seeing you around, I'll go after you. If I'm somewhere, you need to leave if you see me. I'm going to make your life so damn miserable that you're going to need to move so I never have to see you or your bastard again if you don't get rid of it. Fuckin' hell, bitch, I warned you what would happen if you tried to trap me."

"I didn't –"

He put his face in mine and roared, "Did I fucking say you could talk? Get the hell out of here! And make sure I never see you again."

Before I could blink, he walked out of his office into the common area of the clubhouse, calling for Stephanie, one of the club whores who's been panting after him since before we got together.

He pointed to the floor, she dropped to her knees, unzipped his pants and I practically sprinted past so I didn't have to see any more.

The last thing I heard was Daire telling her to make him feel good.

He's true to his word. After one week of not seeing him at all, the next two weeks have him suddenly appearing wherever I am whenever I go out – to the grocery store, to the park, for a walk. And I have to leave not only because of his threats, but because I am absolutely shattered. How could the man I love have such a hateful side to him? He must have either my phone or my car – or both – tracked to always know where I am. There's a possibility he has someone watching me, but that seems like a huge amount of effort for someone who wanted me to stay out of his way. 

What's tearing at me is that I've made no attempt to contact or see him since I left the clubhouse that horrible day, but he's been making sure my life is miserable. I was so nauseated from morning sickness that I didn't feel like cooking for the first few weeks. The three restaurants in town are owned by the MC and they all refused to wait on me. The women I'd thought had become my friends in the seven months I'd been with Daire acted like they didn't know me, and I knew it was on Daire's orders. He's the one pushing it, making it worse than it needs to be. The final straw is when the people I rent my condo from tell me they had some financial setback and needed me out in a week. This had Daire's fingerprints all over it, so I didn't fight it. Just one week to get out, and I didn't even bother looking into other apartments to rent. I knew he'd have me blocked from renting anywhere in the tri-county area, if not farther.

So, after several weeks of tormenting me, his wish was coming true: I was about to disappear from his life forever, and I'd been stealthily, and untraceably, making a plan with the help of my neighbor, Mrs. Andrews. I didn't want Daire to know where I was going, nor where I ended up in case he decided to continue harassing me. Since he'd made it so intolerable for me to be here, my disappearance would be a relief. He'd never have to worry about seeing me or our child ever again. Life would be good for him; as for me, I never thought I'd feel such animosity toward another human being in my life. Knowing that bitterness is not good for me or my baby, I focused on my plans, trying to stay positive and rejoice in the new life I was cradling inside of me.

Daire knew nothing of my friendship with Mrs. Andrews, a seventy-year-old sweetheart who lived two floors below me. There was nothing that connected us.  Her only daughter is an OB-GYN, which is critical for the first part of the plan. I was going to go live with her in Texas until my baby was born. After six weeks of recovery, I'd drive to Montana, near the Idaho/Wyoming border where Mrs. Andrews owns some of the buildings on the main street in the tiny town. There's a two-bedroom apartment above a bakery that she's going to rent to me. She wanted me to live there for free, but I insisted on paying rent. I think she's enjoyed the cloak-and-dagger aspect of this Mission: Fuck Off, Asshole, as she calls it. Her unmarried daughter, Maggie, was also getting into it. She'd see me after hours, off the books, and since I'd be keeping my driver's license in North Carolina, and I'd be living with Maggie, I'd be untraceable. We worked out a deal where I would cook and clean for her every day in lieu of paying for utilities and rent. She absolutely refused to take any payments for medical care.

The day the baby and I would leave for Montana, I'd first get a license with my address listed as Maggie's, open a joint account with her, and file the baby's birth certificate. My checks would return to direct deposit and she'd mail out the money to me in care of the bakery through the medical office mail.

All of this helped me to feel safe from Daire and his possible machinations. You can't come after anyone who has disappeared. I was giving him his heart's desire and removing myself completely from his life. If it gutted me to think about everything he'd put me through, why did I still wish things could have been different with him?