eternal [THOMA]

07

"i loved [S/N], but not in the same way i love you."

of course, you thought. you had already prepared for the day to come, the day he would finally reject you. even though you knew it was bound to happen one day, it still didn't stop your heart from aching at his words.

"i know." you look down. "i've always known."

"y-you... you do?" thoma's eyes widened. "since when?"

"since we were kids." you look up at him, trying to force another smile. "still, i'm flattered that you loved me as a friend."

thoma blinked in confusion, not understanding your reply. "wait, what?"

"[S/N] was amazing, it wasn't a surprise that you'd fall for her. she's everybody's favorite." you stare up at the sky, you had hoped the tears you have been holding won't fall down.

"[Y/N]–"

"she was my parents' favorite, the people in town's favorite, heck even my subordinates even think that if she was alive she'd most likely take my place as captain in the knights." you balled your fist, instantly regretting what you just said. "sorry, i said too much."

"i think... you have the wrong idea." thoma began to wipe the tear that had escaped from your eye, you were unaware that you already started crying.

"what do you mean?"

"i don't like you as a friend."

your eyes widened, almost instantly looking back into his eyes to spot a lie. he didn't look away as he said it, even you could tell it was sincere. where have you seen this before?

"...what?"

"do i have to repeat it?" he laughed softly. his green eyes glistened as it stared back into your own. when you were about to ask what was wrong, something hit you.

he wasn't sad, nor was he frowning anymore. the look he gave you, it was so familiar.

"[S/N]? thoma?" you called out.

you heard whispers at the usual spot in the garden where you often hung out. you peeked your head, seeing your sister knitting a small figurine.

"it's looking pretty already!" she smiles.

"yeah..." thoma wasn't looking at what she was knitting. he stared at her, you could tell from a mile away how wanderstruck he was. "it's so pretty..."

you suddenly got this gnawing feeling at the pit of your stomach, your brain telling you to look away. but you couldn't, as your heart felt like it was pierced through by something sharp. you tried to suck in a deep breath, slowly dipping your feet away from the garden.

"thoma..." you started to step back.

you now remembered why the look he gave you was familiar. it was the same from what you saw at the garden, the time when you realized that you were too late.

"[Y/N]." he starts.

you slowly shook your head, already having a feeling as to what he was going to say.

it was the same look he gave your sister, captivated by the very sight of her. only now, it was you.

"i've been meaning to tell you this for a while now..." he starts to walk towards you.

you didn't want to hear it, even though you've waited years for this very moment. you dreamed about it ever since you were a kid, how the boy you grew up to love would return your feelings.

but not this way, specially when he probably thinks of you as another person.

"[Y/N] i–"

"stop." you cut him off, surprising him.