45| The Fallout

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The Fall out

"We'll survive, you and I" - F Scott Fitzgerald

"We'll survive, you and I"    - F Scott Fitzgerald

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~ 2 weeks later ~
~ Now ~
{ Vivienne }

I looked out the window, at the snow beginning to fall outside
My arm in a sling and bandages constricting my chest underneath my robe

The meds I was on were really helping with the pain
Our house had basically become a hospital
Cassian was upstairs resting, recovering from his surgery.

Rose was somewhere around, hobbling on one leg on crutches
I was confined to my room, resting in bed as Lucian had ordered
Whilst him and Alex drowned their sorrows nearly every night for a week over Rowan
He was doing... better now, they both were.

But I could see the pain in his eyes when he came to bed
The way he'd hold me and cry in his weakest moments
The kids were all in the garden, unable to truly understand why their grandfather wasn't here
Kamala too little to comprehend where her dad was now.

And Rose too heartbroken to properly explain it to her
"You haven't eaten" Lucian complained, walking back in
"I'm not hungry" I mumbled, watching the children run around the garden.

I was grieving too. I wanted to support Lucian
But Rowan was the closest thing I had to a father
His death ripped a hole in my heart
One that was growing every day
"You need to eat" he said
"I'm fine" I lied.

"Did Anastasia get off alright?" I asked, he shrugged
"Don't know, don't care" he said
She had been found tied up in a wardrobe
I think Lucian just couldn't work out yet that this wasn't her fault.

This was Dinara
This was all Dinara. And to think I sympathised with her
Part of me still does. She wasn't healthy, in her head.

But she also shot 4 people. So as far as I was concerned, she could burn in hell for all I cared.
"Have you heard anything from Sorin?" He asked, I shook my head
Nothing since he disappeared from the house.

Lucian was just as confused as I was when I told him about Sorin
The more I had thought about it, the quicker I had realised he must have been the one calling me, the one following me. The presence I could feel but not see for all that time.

He sighed, sitting next to me on the bed and pulling me into him for a hug
"I love you" he said, kissing the top of my head
"I love you too" I said, closing my eyes for a moment
The thought of losing Lucian was actually unbearable.

Losing someone truly makes you evaluate your life
Everyone in it
Your children
It's Earth shattering.

{ Lucian }

Before I knew it, she had fell asleep against my shoulder
I don't know how long I sat there just looking at her
Memorising every single detail of her face
Dads death was killing me. Eating me up from the inside.

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