Ophelia wanted to keep that night a secret. She needed it to be secret. But then she gets a box of tapes, exposing everything she thought she could hide. The worst part? The only people who hear the tapes are the people she was trying to hide them f...
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tw: mentions of past abuse, mentions of past sexual assault
There were dozens of other things Ophelia could have added to that list Justin found, the one with all the painful topics she considered going over in therapy session. But she never ended up adding anything else. Because it was depressing when she thought about it, and relived it all. So she stayed with the thirteen things she wrote, which were:
1. Monty 2. Hannah 3. Winterball 4. Bryce 5. Rep Night 6. The Tapes 7. Hannah's trial 8. The Clubhouse 9. Montgomery 10. Spring Fling 11. Homecoming 12. Justin's relapse 13. The drill
Each number had a backstory that'd be traumatizing enough in itself. Writing the list made Ophelia realize bad things never stopped happening to her, and she wondered if they ever would.
1. Monty
Monty had been the first person that showed Ophelia what real love was. He was the first one to make Ophelia feel that emotion, honestly and truly. If she hadn't met Monty her freshmen year, there was a good chance she would have never broken her mother's rules, and she wouldn't have even thought about dating until college. But Monty was the only person in the world that was able to break her obedient streak. He loved her, even if he was too shy to admit how much. And she loved him, more than she ever felt comfortable admitting either. But without the words being said aloud, they still knew. They always knew. Monty was the first person who made Ophelia feel like the world wasn't out to get her.
Ophelia's first heartbreak was when Monty began hurting her. It wasn't just that he changed. It was more than a change. It honestly felt like her boyfriend-the one she loved with all her heart-had suddenly and abruptly died.
2. Hannah
Hannah was Ophelia's first real girl friend. She'd had some aquintaces, and classmates, but never a friend like Hannah. She was her best friend, for a while. Hannah didn't betray Ophelia the way Montgomery did. Instead, Ophelia betrayed her. Multiple times. She allowed Montgomery to drug Hannah, kidnap her, take topless pictures of her...all for what? Because Hannah was doing the right thing and trying to get Ophelia out of that damaging relationship? Ophelia tried her hardest to help Hannah that night, but she was honestly terrified of Montgomery, in every way possible. Ophelia blamed herself for getting in a situation this bad with a boyfriend. After allowing all those horrible things to happen to her own best friend, Ophelia almost felt like she deserved to be stuck with Monty. She deserved whatever he did to her.
When Hannah killed herself, Ophelia felt like a part of her died that day too, the part of her that thought she was a good person. Hannah's memory would always serve as a reminder to Ophelia that she was weak, and that maybe the bad things that happened after her death were apart of her punishment for what she did.
