*This story is a spin-off, It can be read as a stand alone but reading Love To Hate You first will add more details and complete the small missing pieces*
-
"Just a little more and I'm gone for a while"
-
𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧 - Four years ago I was falsely accu...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
𝐑𝐘𝐀𝐍
Taking a walk with Willow and Cosmo, her half brother's little pug after her visit to ours to hangout with Elsie stirred more questions in me but I also relaxed. I'd underestimated why everyone found the advice Willow gave them so eye opening. But I wouldn't say that it changed anything in me other than confusing me –in a weird – but good way. She saw right through me and asked if anything was wrong.
So I shockingly let some things slip out. I told her about a girl. A girl that I have the strongest feelings towards and about the same girl I want to get my revenge on. The things I've planned are beyond me and I know I can't go through with them. I will kill myself amongst my revenge and kill her too.
Willow wasn't like Celine and the reason I felt something towards Willow a few years ago when I saw her that night waiting for her mom all alone in the dark, after school, was because in a way she looked so much like Celine. But I knew Willow belonged to Sargent and I realised that I'd never even actually liked her.
Celine was the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. I grew up with her and she grew up with me. She went from being my cute friend that I loved to have around to the woman I'd imagined waking up to every morning. She was something I'd never get enough of but like everything, good things always come to an end and she ended it all by turning into a snake.
Willow told me to let go of things, to let go of everything holding my real feelings back but what she didn't tell me is how I can do all that.
"If you love her, you can move on Ryan. Love and hate are the same but love will always be more than hate" she'd said and I'd scoffed.
Celine is unrecognisable to me now. Is she even the same girl I fell in love with?
What remains is my feelings, her eyes, the same eyes that looked away every time I looked at her.
Once upon a time I wished for her to love me forever. Now I just wish that I'd never loved her because now I can't seem to stop. No matter what she did to me, to us, to my mom.
I locked the door behind me as I entered the living room, spotting Elsie among a pile of photos from the years and she greeted me with a smile as I picked up a photo of me, Finn and Celine.
This was the photo taken on the day that I had my first kiss with her. It was her first kiss too. But she never knew that it was my first kiss. In the photo her blushed face looked up at me while I laughed at a joke Finn had said. Her eyes sparkled up at me and I wished I could take out the image of her beaten up face and broken eyes from the doomed day that separated us for good.
Why did you lie? Why. Just why. I loved you. I still do.
"She's so pretty" Elsie said and I looked away, not saying anything as I threw the photo back from where I picked it up.
I sat down on the couch next to her and she put her head on my shoulder. Looking at a picture of our mom.
