This is why I'm always scared of falling in love— of being in love again. For I always have trouble with past and I'm scared battling against them. Because the first time[s] I gave in with the feeling, I lost against someone from before —someone from the past of my love. I thought I was being cherished as I am but turns out I am seen as somebody else.
It left my heart traumatized that everytime I see love approaching, I tend to turn the other way. So afraid that if I let it inside, it'll just turn out like the first time.
This doubt— this is my reason for building these walls around my heart. So that I may keep entrusting myself to someone. Until I'm sure that it's me, my soul —that is being loved. Truly being loved.
And I'm sorry if you have to prove everything to me every single time. I just have to make sure everything is for real because I'm tired of love who's unsure.
