In the 4 years I've been writing this book, I've won and lost a lot, the people that were poems in 2018 are not in my life anymore and most of the 2020 aren't either. In these years I've lost and found myself over and over again.
But now I know, I'm Michol, the artist, and fallen angel.
I'm in the part of my life that I thought I'd never get to, I'm getting to see and live all that 15 year old me thought she wouldn't get to when I wrote " I know" I had a blade in my hand and spent a week in the hospital after that wondering why the fuck death didn't want me, but now I know why. I found the love of my life, and I get to wake up with him every morning, I started a home with him and even though we're just starting we're happy.
I started my career, it's been rough but I'm three months away from finishing it and I got into the salon of my dreams. My future is set.
Im happy.
I've won and I've lost.
I've been the happiest and the saddest I've ever been.
I'm working on it.
But after 4 years I think it's time to finish the book and close this chapter. I now understand everything I didn't before. And I realize that everything I went though these 4 years had a purpose. It all lead me to be able to enjoy the chilly breeze and cuddles in the morning, made me realize I'm not alone that I was never meant to be. It's been a weird 4 years, now we'll start again, but now I at least understand that it's all been and it'll always be "for me".
