Ashtray x reader

7. I love you(Ashtray)

Ashtray wasn't the type to say I love you. Maybe if he would've stayed with his mom, sure but not after seeing everything he's seen, doing everything he's done; he convinced himself that love didn't exist and that everyone who believes otherwise is lying to themselves and/or possibly on a bit too much ecstasy. That was until he met you.
You however were a hopeless romantic. You were in love with someone every month it felt like. You couldn't help it though, your parents despite their unhappy marriage showered you in love and affection and everything you could have ever wanted. It felt like you and Ash were on opposite sides of the spectrum, a tale of two cities, yin and Yang, you get it.
You don't know how it happened but like clockwork, like it was fated; you two met. Your personalities clashed, styles different, friends(if you could call them that) from what felt like different realities but somehow despite all of this, you worked. Like Cosmo and Wanda, Yin and Yang, left and right, you two fit perfectly together even if you didn't see it. You balanced Ash out and he balanced you. He exposed you to new experiences, friends everything basically and you taught him to manage his anger and basically be a less shitty person. You two started as friends; you always getting him out of trouble, being optimistic and being reserved and rule-following;. He was the opposite of this: getting you into trouble, being blunt, being bolder than bold and skipping school at LEAST 6 times a month. He always acted like he disliked you but if it came down to it, he'd kill someone for you and trust it didn't take much for it to come down to it. A simple "Jake touched my ass but I'm pretty sure it was an accident" from you would result in a visit from Ashtray and Jake not coming to school for 3 weeks and returning with a cast.
You initiated almost everything in the friendship. From hugs(which he almost never reciprocated) to handshakes to visits, although you can't really blame him for the visits one since your family y hates him. You had to ask the question and facilitate the fateful conversation(Ash is bold, you're regular)
"Hey wanna go out?"
"What the fuck are you talking about? We are out"
"No dumbass i mean do you want to date? Like as in wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"Oh. Okay sure"
Although he'd never show it, he was over the moon. His dislike for you was a cover up for the fact that he's been in love with you ever since the day you two met. Your love for him was always evident which he wasn't used to but his was always buried deep. You were very vocal about your love for people which was one of the hurdles in the relationship. Ash didn't understand your love or your emotions which is what lead up to this conversation(ash is bold you're regular)
"WHY IS IT THAT IM THE ONLY ONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE APART OF THIS RELATIONSHIP??"
"BRO WHY TF ARE YOU YELLING?"
"FIRST OF ALL IM NOT YOUR "BRO" AND IM NOT YOUR "BITCH" EITHER. SECOND OF ALL, YOU HAVE BEEN SO RUDE AND DISTANT TOWARDS ME LATLEY. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? DID I DO SOMETHING TO YOU??"
"NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU Y/N! OKAY?? MAYBE IM JUST SICK AND TIRED OF YOU CLINGING ONTO ME AND SPENDING ALL OF YOUR TIME WITH ME".
"I NEVER SAID THAT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME! IM JUST PISSED THAT YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 1.5 YEARS AND YOU STILL HAVENT SAID I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH IVE SAID IT 2000000 TIMES."
"I DONT GIVE TWO FUCKING SHITS HOW MANY TIMES YOU SAY IT. I DONT BELIEVE IN THAT SHIT."
"IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IN IT THAN WHY ARE WE EVEN TOGETHER"?
"I DONT FUCKING KNOW. ALL I KNOW IS IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE"
You stood there in complete shock. Sure you had your problems, every relationship did but this was something that you never expected from Ashtray.
You walked past him, tears in your eyes and got on your bike. Fez looked confused and walked into Ash's room:
"Yo what happened"?
Ash walked into the bathroom, he sat and tears started falling from his eyes. He didn't even bother to stop them, he knew he was wrong the moment he spoke those words and he would do anything to admit that to you.

A/n AAAHHHHH CLIFFHANGER