Wonderstruck

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Not everyone gets to have a romantic ending. I definitely didn't. But right from the beginning, I knew it was gonna be a wonderful journey- which is so ridiculous to think about especially as someone who adamantly hates all the mushy-gushy stuff about love. I always wanted a meet-cute. Being an avid fanfic and cheesy teen fic reader from 10th grade, it was really the first thing I wanted. Whether it was accidentally ran into, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, or even forbidden love haha I wanted something I could joke about while still being like what are the odds bc isn't that what relationships should be abt anyways?? What are the odds this beautiful man likes me?? What are the odds someone so ,literally any adjective, is real let alone interested in me?? What are the odds 2 people on completely different paths cross by chance and it becomes something beautiful?? I hated the sappy love, the theatrics, the drama, the pda, but I knew deep down I was a sucker for the passion, the romantics, the love...

Yet here I am in 21st century where no one initiates conversations in real life, online dating is nearly synonymous with hooking up and no one has any idea what they want to do in any aspect of their lives. I wish I could say I was above it but after a certain level of desperation and curiosity, no matter how many times I delete them, I was inevitably back on swipes mindlessly. I don't remember if I had matched with Jack immediately but I remember seeing his profile and even though his pictures didn't seem super cute, he seemed to at least had some personality and I loved playing 2 truths and a lie, so I went for it and "made my move" and guess the lie to which all this man could say is "you got it". "Great" I thought to myself, I have to try yet again to make conversation, isn't this the man's job?? With dry basic conversation about interests which elongated over weeks, he suggested I add him on snapchat. Now as someone who is admittedly a stalker, I don't like adding people on social media especially without any real chemistry or interest but I can't explain what went over me.

After a little bit of debating, I went yolo and added him. I'd love to say that the conversations were better. I wish I could. Truly. But no, it was still p dry, how are you's whatever's. This man was just another in the cycle of guys that went from one app to another without trying to really make a move. As disappointing as you'd expect it to be, I really couldn't care less. Sure I don't give my social media to everyone that asks but if they don't make an effort to talk to me or ask me out- I can't really care to be bothered. Soon after I added Jack on snapchat, I was heading out of town for winter break. I was going on vacation and it was gonna be a blast. Two weeks had passed and its new years eve and this man I didn't remember at all messaged me. We chat up for a little bit and he asked what my new years plans were. I was going to go to church for new years while he on the other hand was trying to just watch a movie. Thankfully I wasn't even in town to play with the idea of what he was trying to do but of courseeeee this boy doesn't want to make a move unless he's trying to get some actual action. I kinda expected things to drop after that but somehow a week later he kinda asked me out. I say kinda bc he was so dilly dally about it "do you wanna get hangout or something?" I was bored, I was free what's the worst that could happen.

Thanks to the tracking powers of instagram, I found out a Christian band I loved was going to be performing in town, I was ready to go by myself but I figured I could try to make a date out of it and possibly get some free tickets too. I definitely didn't want to go with someone who wasn't trying to match my energy so when Jack didn't know the band so I figured I can just try someone else in the pond of boys in my arsenal and sure enough another boy liked the band from his childhood. Unfortunately my attempts of making this concert a date was not of my better ideas but thankfully the date left early and before the band I was looking forward to was performing. As I was walking to my car absolutely thrilled from my concert high, I get a text from Jack saying he enjoyed the song I sent. SERIOUSLY?? This man decides now after the concert that he likes it. While I did instantly wish I had asked him to have come I was too excited so I did what I do best, sent him a snap video of how excited I was and how great that concert was. I then sent him a video I took from the concert and he saved it which although was so trivial, it made me really excited to know he enjoyed it enough to save it.

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