Chapter Five: Move On

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Taehyung woke up slowly, only a little after realizing that he'd fallen asleep with Jungkook because he felt a heaviness between his calves and his arm was draped over something warm as well.

Jungkook.

He had his back turned to Taehyung now, facing the window, and Taehyung was pressed close up to him in cuddle-mode. Jungkook was warm, comfortable, and he was nice to hold. Taehyung tightened his hold on the younger, his fingers curling into the blanket and face pressing forward into the nape of Jungkook's neck. It felt so close to old times, except they were both bigger— especially Jungkook.

Jungkook is broad. Jungkook has muscles built everywhere, including the weight of his thighs that Taehyung had his legs pressed between and his arms that were always strong, but now his one arm had the prettiest tattoos that Taehyung never really got to know the meaning of, but they're so pretty on his skin that he never needed to ask. Jungkook's grown into everything: good, great, amazing.

Taehyung had grown just as well, but Jungkook's growth is really the only thing he cared to see or notice. Maybe Jungkook felt the same way about him.

With that random thought in mind, Taehyung gripped tight onto the blanket just above Jungkook's chest.

He doesn't think of you like that. Stop thinking nonsense, Tae.

"Hyung?"

Taehyung released his tight grip as Jungkook suddenly turned around, facing him. The sunshine of the late morning shining through the window was plenty of light for Taehyung to see the tired maknae's eyes gazing back at him.

"Jungkookie," he muttered. Jungkook's eyes were hardly staying open.

"I thought so." Jungkook closed his ties completely, his lashes ghosted over his cheeks and his cheek smashed into the pillow. "Thought you were awake. Don't wanna work today." Work. Maybe they shouldn't have stayed up all night to watch the Grammy nominations.

"I don't either."

A small smile formed on Jungkook's lips and his eyes soon opened again, those lidded eyes staring back at him. "I'll leave you alone now." Jungkook stretched out as he sat up on the bed, not seeing Taehyung's pout of protest. "Thanks for letting me sleep here. We should get up now, though."

Taehyung didn't want to get up and he sure as hell didn't want Jungkook to leave his bed— he wanted more cuddles.

"Yeah..." I want you to sleep and cuddle with me again tonight. Please do.

He didn't say that, of course.

——

"Why do you act so weirdly every time Jungkook is in the same room? Aren't you over him?"

Because Jungkook has the prettiest personality and the prettiest eyes, chocolate brown mixed with slightly darker browns swirled in. Because Jungkook smiles with meaning, the more gorgeous curled-up lips and teethy smile. Because Jungkook shares an innocence with Taehyung— he always had. Because Jungkook lately keeps Taehyung on his toes, his handsome features, gorgeous body, amazingly toned abs and muscles he worked hard for.

Because Jeon Jungkook is the most pure-hearted, kindest, cutest, yet sexiest person Taehyung knows.

It was because of those reasons that Taehyung, in fact, could not simply be over Jeon Jungkook.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Taehyung eventually answered Jimin, who was eyeing him weirdly. They were eating fruit all alone in Jimin's room and apparently Taehyung had seemed off lately, or else Jimin never would've asked such a thing.

The only reason that Taehyung would ever lie about something like that was because he both didn't want Jimin to be involved and he also didn't want to accept the fact that feelings from over seven years ago was building up faster than ever, memories and the familiar feelings of having Jungkook hitting him hard.

Every touch, every word, every look— Jungkook had him in a tight grip and Taehyung wasn't sure how to get out of it. Even if he begged his angels and threw a million wishes to his imaginary genie, Jungkook would still find a way there to him; they're family now and he couldn't let go of him even if he wanted to. Maybe it was because Jungkook was his first kiss, even though it was a measly peck. Maybe it was because Taehyung wanted to experiment with Jungkook and it went too well at first. Maybe it was because he'd craved love for so long that his own delusions were getting to his head.

That's what it was.

He just wanted love.

If Taehyung found someone else to distract himself, maybe he'd forget all about everything. The only true way to get over those delusions was to shift them onto someone else. Who? He had no clue. There was nobody, and even so, being delusional about someone else would be just as bad. Why delude about anyone at all? He'd just have to get rid of those feelings instead of shifting them... But again, how? He can't just do that.

Nothing seemed to be the answer.

"I swear you two are perfect for each other," Jimin's voice was low as he spoke, a tsk at the end. Dumbfounded by his words, Taehyung stared over at him. Jimin was simply looking back, his expression a bit too serious for Taehyung's liking. "You both stare off into nothing when you think too much. Isn't it a bit cruel to rot your brains like that?"

Taehyung huffed a pout at his friend. "My brain isn't rotting." It definitely was rotting with how much he'd been worrying lately. "Don't say crazy things like that. The only person I'm perfect for is you, my soulmate." It was Jimin's turn to huff, except he furrowed his eyebrows as he did.

"If I'm your soulmate, then what does that make Jungkookie? I mean— I remember seeing you two kiss so vividly—"

"He's nothing to me! We're just friends!"

"Sure, sure." Jimin laid back against the bed frame, biting back a cheeky smile. He didn't last with his mouth shut for two seconds. "I still think it was cute, for the record. The kiss. You guys were so little and cute!"

Taehyung shuddered at the thought of his younger self pecking younger Jungkook's lips— he was usually the one who initiated intimacy because Jungkook was too shy back then. Now, he shudders even more thinking about what older, more matured Jungkook would do with him.

"Okay. That was nearly eight years ago, Jimine." Taehyung didn't mean to speak in pout but he did. He rested back against the headboard as well, ignoring Jimin's scrunched eyebrows and pouted lips. "Let's just not talk about this. I don't think Jungkook would appreciate us talking about it."

Jimin scoffed a bit. "Jungkook-ah doesn't care if we talk about this. If he does, then there must be a reason." He tilted his head to see Taehyung better, the younger trying his best to avoid his eyes, but he just couldn't. "I think there must be a reason that you look like a sad puppy every time I mention it, too." Taehyung's lips fell with those words in mind. Maybe Jimin suspected more than he thought. "Why don't you just talk about your feelings? I'm sure something's on your mind."

Talk about his feelings?

Yeah, right.

I don't know what you're talking about, that's what Taehyung wanted to tell him, but he just couldn't bring himself to answer at all. A part of him knew that Jimin was right. A larger part of him wanted to ignore it and move on.

~

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