DreamWorks' The Bad Guys in The GOOD Guys?!: A Retelling

Table Read: "The Heist (Gone Wrong)" (In-Universe Edition)

Date: March 14th, 2020.
What: Virtual table read for DreamWorks' newest feature film, "The Bad Guys" (based on the NY bestselling book series by master author Aaron Blabey).
How: Zoom call.
RSVP: Almost EVERYBODY (except Piranha).

(All the gang get their webcams set.)
Tiff: What up, what up, WHAT UP?!
Luggins: Hello, everyone! Glad we could make it for this one-of-a-kind meetup/hangout-type-thing we're doing right now. Is that what this is?
Wolf: Hey, Tiff! How are ya, Luggins?
Piranha: Hey, guys!
Shark: Hello, my fine co-stars. Who's up for a little table read?
Tarantula: I am! Oh yeah, I am SET! Got my booth all set up just for this.
Shark: Ms. T, why do you have your VO booth set up if you're just setting it up for THIS?
Tarantula: Reasons.
Piranha: Okay, enough chit-chat. Let's do this, chicos! Wooo!
Wolf: Alright. DreamWorks' "The Bad Guys".
Tiff: Ooh! Scene: The Heist (Gone Wrong). This is gonna be fun!
Luggins: Deep breaths, people. Get in character. Okay, are we ready? Here we go!
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The Bad Guys have almost made it out of the awards show alive...with the Golden Dolphin in hand. Wolf talks in a comm to his gang.

Wolf: Alright, we got the Dolphin. Now let's grab the pack and get the heck out of here.
Piranha: Ohhh, wordplay!
(Beat)
Piranha: I don't get it.

With Tarantula sliding out a rope in the ceiling, Tiff just excitedly dashing over to her friends, and Shark racing in from behind, it looks like the gang will finally make their long-awaited escape!

Tiff: Woo-hoo-hoo! What a rush! Ha, it's like we're unstopppable or something!
Tarantula: I can see the exit! It's right there!
Wolf: And hey, who's around to stop us? No one. Come on!
Tiff: Eeeeee!! It looks like we're all gonna make it!
Shark: Yessss!!
Piranha: WE ALMOST HOMEFREEEE!!!

The Bad Guys all cheer!

All: HEY! HOOOOO! WE'RE THE BAD GUYS! LET'S GOOOOOO!!

Suddenly, a random British dude sees them cheering, and spits out his drink.

Random British Dude: OH MY GOD, IT'S THE BAD GUYS!!
Chief Luggins: The Bad Guys? Grrrrrr!

Chief Luggins looks over and stares at the five, her eyes turning into two burning flames. Piranha laughs.

Piranha: Hahaha! Is it me, or are you getting hot in here?
Tiff: No time for jokes, P! We gotta go!

The gang hastily runs towards the exit, but in come police officers, blocking them from all sides! Luggins is up in front, sporting a mean smile.

Luggins: Oh, wow. The Bad Guys. Heh, never thought I'd see you here...WITH THE GOLDEN DOLPHIN! HAND. IT. OVER.
Wolf: Aw, come on! There's no proof we stole it. That's just being ridiculous.

The Dolphin pops out of Shark's dress.

Shark: MY BABY!

Luggins facepalms as she grabs Tiff and Wolf by their collars.

Luggins: Oh, I don't think you heard me. HAND. IT. OVER. NOW.
Tiff: NEVER! We're outta here!
Wolf: SO LONG, SUCKERS!

Wolf gets a grappling hook and shoots it towards the ceiling! But instead of carrying all his friends to safety...RIP! The cable tears his pants off.

Tiff: Are you kidding me, Wolf?
Wolf: Well, that just got a little weird.

And...SCENE!
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Shark: That was great!
Tarantula: YES! I love it!
Tiff: I think I totally nailed my "We're outta here!".
Wolf: Guys, I think we nailed all our parts.
Luggins: Wow. Thanks, Wolf. Heck, our performances wereso good that I've even prepared a little speech.
Piranha: Oh boy.
Shark: Here we go.
Tiff: Prepare for the waterworks.
Luggins: Just wanna say, all this time making this amazing movie with you five has been the best...2-3 years of my life as an actor, and...I'm so very proud to see the final product. Because, sure we may be worst enemies on set, but deep down, we're all best buds. And, from the bottom of my heart, I just wanna say that...I love you guys! And yes, I really do mean it.
All: Awwww!!
Wolf: Love ya too, Luggins.
Tiff: Bring it in, guys!
All: GROUP HUG!
(All of them do a virtual group hug!)
Piranha: I love it when we do that.
Tiff: So...you think we could do this again soon?
Luggins: Oh, absolutely!
Tarantula: Yeah! I'm down.
Shark: Me too.
Wolf: Of course.
Piranha: Why not? I mean this has been a whole lot of fun. Well, uh...bye for now, guys! I'm about to press the "close all tabs" button!
Tiff: Uh-oh! Piranha, don't!
Wolf: Somebody stop him! He's about to press it! Aw, curse you COVID!
Luggins: Piranha, if you press that button, I SWEAR TO GOD—
Shark: Bud, please. We haven't said our goodbyes yet!
Piranha: Nope, not taking any chances. Hasta la vista, suckas! Mwahahahahaha!
Everyone (except for Luggins): NOOOOOOOOOO!!
Luggins: CONSARN—
(Piranha presses the button as all the webcams turn off, ending the read.)

The End...until Fall 2022, that is. - The Bad Guys

(Luggins pops back up on screen.)
Luggins: Oh, and if you're watching this...curse you, Piranha.
(Luggins turns off her webcam as the logo for the film shows up.)

DreamWorks' The GOOD Guys?

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