The Irregulars

Chapter 10

Two nights later, Alec was sitting with Foxy, Jane, Benny and Karl on a ridge in the Ardennes forest. Foxy was peering down at the base through a pair of binoculars.

"What do you see, big fella?" Benny asked, sitting on the hood of the stolen Nazi jeep they were going to use to infiltrate the base.

"I see a loudmouth who doesn't know enough to whisper when he's on an undercover mission!" hissed Jane.

"Take it easy, sister," Benny said. "We're all the way up here and they're all the way down there. Besides, if we're talking about second thoughts about who we brought along, I'd like to question the inclusion of Father Time over there."

Benny jerked a thumb over at Karl, who was putting the finishing touches on his Nazi uniform.

"I thought you liked Karl now," said Jane.

"He's OK, but it just seems like a hassle to have a guy whose only power is turning back time on a mission like this."

"I think he's the perfect asset for a mission like this," Jane said. "Plenty of things could go wrong, and having someone like him around could help undo a mistake."

"You're talking to Kid Benny, my dear," Benny said. "The Kid doesn't make mistakes."

"I believe I have," said Jane. "When I started this conversation."

Just then, Alec stepped out of a thick grove of trees, dressed in a German uniform. He looked uncomfortable and nervous.

"How do I look?" he asked.

"Like a million bucks," said Benny. "You ready to dupe some Nazis out of their vril?"

"I guess so," said Alec.

"You guess so," said Benny. "That's good enough for government work. Foxy! What do you see?"

"Looks pretty light," Foxy said. "We've got two guards at the front gate. A few outside the quonset hut. There's a transport truck at the far end of the compound. That's probably where they're keeping the vril. Should make it easy to get it out that way."

"OK, then," said Benny. He turned to Jane. "Boss lady. What's the plan?"

"The plan is that the four of us enter via the front gate disguised as Nazi officers..."

"All four of us as Nazi officers?" said Karl. "I thought three of us were dressing as officers and one of us would be our prisoner."

At the word "prisoner," Karl looked over at Benny, who became indignant.

"What?" he asked. "Because I'm Jewish, I've got to be your prisoner? Get a load of this guy!"

"No! No!" said Karl, backpedaling immediately. "I just mean...because Alec and Jane and I are already...and you didn't..."

Karl's excuses sputtered out into silence and he withered under Benny's gaze which grew harder and harder until at last he broke up laughing.

"I'm just messing with you, man," he said. "I'm sorry. It's just too easy to do. But you're right, I don't have a Nazi uniform. However, what I do have..."

Benny walked over to the Jeep and pulled out a battered suitcase. He unlatched it and pulled out a blue wool uniform with white gloves. He showed it off to the group.

"Vichy French," he said. "Huh? Nice, right? Stylish? Picked it up real cheap at a flea market in Saint-Ouen."

"Shouldn't I be wearing that uniform?" asked Alec.

"Why?"

"Oh, I don't know," Alec said. "Maybe because I speak French?"

"Look," Benny said. "For one thing, I have lived in Paris for the last six months, in case you didn't recall. And for another, I don't care if you read The Katzenjammer Kids in Pig Latin. If you think I'm putting on that uniform at any time, then you've got several thinks coming."