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After queuing for a good part of half an hour. I'm finally in the club.

It's packed out. The music deafening. Sweaty bodies and big groups of people dance on the dance floor, some even on tables. Making the place feel muggy.

I begin to walk around the dance floor. A guy looks over in my direction and gives me a wink, followed with a smirk. I smile back faintly at him, but then take my attention away. I'm not here to lead any guys on.

I'm not even here to lead Matthew on. Everything i aim to do with him tonight, is genuine.

If i could just find him. I scan around looking.

Nerves hit me. Not only from my plan of finding this beautiful man and aiming to speak to him. But just from being out altogether.

I don't do this shit anymore. All my confidence left me when my ex boyfriend did. He took it all with him. And left me a destroyed, broken mess.

The fact I'm still sober makes me more of a nervous wreck. I hate this. But i can't stop myself.

Okay, i can do this! You can do this, Emma.

I make my way over to the bar. Waiting to be served, i take another quick scan around. Noticing there's a floor up above this one. But it's sealed off with red rope, and 2 bouncer looking men stand at either side of the stairs.

I don't see any movement from up there. But as soon as i turn back around, i hear cheering and laughter, coming from up there.

"What can i get you?" A blonde girl makes her way over to me, flashing me a smile as she waits for me to order a drink. She leans in to hear me better.

"A vodka and lemonade, no ice" i shout back. Struggling to even concentrate with how loud the music is.

She nods and get's to it. Bringing my drink straight over. I pay and wait for my change. "Hey, is that-" I point to the floor above. "Is that VIP?"

I grab my drink, sucking on the small straw. Needing the alcohol to make me confident and brave. Alcohol always helps. And i need lots of it.

She nods, before leaning in a little closer again. "You'll have to try and speak to Matthew Healy if you wanna get up there" she gives me a look, as to say it's basically impossible.

I suddenly cough out, chocking on my drink. So that's where he is.

Shit. How the hell am i supposed to get up there with the hulks guarding it?

So this plan has backfired already. And I've only been here 10 minutes.

I sit myself down on a stool at the bar. Knowing i may as well just go back home after this one drink.

This is ridiculous! Even if i did manage to get up there, it would be pointless. I've seen how these things pan out in films. The whole, rich business man, in the VIP area. It's always just full of pretty, model looking chicks. The man sits there, on the posh leather seat. Keeping a close eye on all of them, with beady eyes. But always has his favorite one next to him. The one he's planning on taking home and having his wicked way with.

The thought makes me scowl up in that direction.

That's not the type of guy i like. That's the type of guy, girls like me, know to keep well away from.

So what the hell is this with me? Why can i not get him off of my mind? Or just leave him be?

It's frustrating. The more i don't want to like him. The more i tell myself this needs to stop. It just becomes worse. Stronger. Impossible.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 17, 2015 ⏰

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