romance is for idiots [dip]

chapt. 5

Damien woke up from the sound of the annoying alarm on his phone, he turned it off and fell off his bed, making himself feel obligated to get ready for school.
He changed his pajamas to his regular clothes and brushed his teeth, then he remembered he left something on his desk.

Quickly picking up the envelope and putting in his pocket, he grabbed his bag and harshly put it on his back and ran out of the door, “forgetting” to say “Good Morning” or “Goodbye” to his father.

He arrived at his school’s entrance, not paying attention to the crowds of students giving or accepting love confessions or flowers left and right. Hell, Damien was pretty sure that was Kenny giving flowers and receiving kisses from Butters, yet he entered the school halls, looking for Pip’s locker.

After finally finding it, in the midst of all of these regulations of Valentines Day, he pulled the letter out of his pocket and was about to put it in it, he got interrupted by one of his least favorite students, Eric Cartman.

“Oooh, is that a loooove letter?” Cartman leaned in to look at it more closely, “And who is this lucky lady?”
Damien thought of a good lie, to get him out of this dumbass’ face,
“It’s for me you fatass, some random girl gave it to me, I guess she likes me.”
Eric Cartman was shocked, stunned some might say. Damien Thorn was confessed by someone? When this girl clearly could’ve asked HIM out? The audacity of some people..

While Cartman stood in shock trying to find an alternative universe where a girl had romantic feelings for Damien, Damien carefully slipped the letter into his pocket.

The bell rang, signaling first period had started.
Since the first plan didn’t work, Damien thought that he should leave the letter on Pip’s desk, unfortunately, he forgot that Pip is almost never late to class, and that he was already sitting down at his desk when he entered the classroom.

“Good morning Damien!” The Brit smiled at him, happy his friend wasn’t skipping class for once.
“Morning Philip.” Damien mustered up his courage to say this part, “Happy Valentines Day, frenchy.”

The Brit was very happy about how Damien wished him a happy Valentines Day, how he called him “Frenchy”, not as much.

As Pip was about to tell Damien of his ACTUAL origin, the teacher entered the classroom and ordered the students to stop talking.

She gave a long lecture, one Damien called stupid, and then left the classroom.

Pip looked at the clock before realizing there were 10 minutes left of class, and that if they left early, PC Principal was going to hurry them back to the classroom. It seemed that all his other classmates realized that too, because none of them had left the classroom, so, like every student in there, he turned his head to his friend and started talking.

Pip talked and asked a lot about Valentines Day, some questions that Damien felt to cowardly to answer and some not. Damien felt worried at the moment, both of his plans, were destroyed, and he had no backup-backup plan.

Damien said he was probably going to skip all his other classes with Kenny, but he promised to sit with him at lunch. He always sits with Pip at lunch. Pip said once, that that was his favorite time of the day, it was stupid, and forgettable, but Damien thought of it as UNforgettable, or memorable. That’s why he still remembers it, and why he always promises to sit with him.
Damien Thorn may be the son of Satan, or, a hellspawn, but he never will break a promise, not to Pip atleast.

Suddenly, after a few hours, and MANY RedBull cans, it was lunchtime.
A time both Pip and Damien favorited the most, they were both sitting at their table, while Thorn listened to Pip speak about, something, he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying, as he was most definitely staring at the Brit.

After a few minutes of staring at Pip being perfect in every way possible, Pip probably noticed,
“Damien, what are you looking at?”
This shook him back to reality, giving him enough time to answer quickly,
“Nothing, what would I be looking at?”
Pip tried to think of an reason of why Damien would be staring into space like that,
“Oh!! Damien! Are you staring at someone? Do you have a cru-“
“No I don’t. Why would I be dumb enough to have such mortal feelings?”
A question Damien asked himself every day.

Pip looked left and right at all different tables to try and find this lucky someone.
“Heh.. I guess you’re right Damien, nobody here could be the “one” to you I guess.”
Has Philip tried looking at a mirror? Well, atleast he hasn’t figured out it’s him yet.

Suddenly, Pip felt something on his shoulder,
“Hey Frenchy! What’s up?”
A familiar boy with a orange puffy jacket sat down with them.
“Hello Kenny! How are you?”
“Good, say, did any of you get something for Valentines day?”
Oh god what the fuck was Kenny about to do.
“Oh no, I haven’t and I don’t think Damien has either.”
Kenny is going to regret this later on, as Damien’s bullet kills him, it’s going to be very eventful.
“Really? I was sure.. someone.. was going to confess to you.. a love letter was written.. I’ve heard..”
“Really?? That’s so cool!! I hope they do!”
Damien felt the need to remind everyone how much of a coward he is,
“Don’t get your hopes up Philip, a lot of people get scared and don’t end up telling that person how they feel.”
A blush crept up into Damien’s face, as Kenny continued,
“Yeah! And you know what we sophisticated, gentlemen call these people? Pussies!”

Mr Mackey heard Kenny from 10 miles away and ran up and dragged him to the Principal’s office.

"I’m glad that idiot is gone..”
“Damien!! Can you believe it! Someone is going to confess to me?”
Damien felt his heart pump, most probably, 6,660,000 BPM, he was definitely panicking about this,
“If this person does.. confess to you.. will you date them.?”
Damien felt annoyed at himself for asking that question.
“Hm.. no.. I already have someone I like! I wouldn’t date someone just because they asked me to.”
Alright, Damien was now, more confused than worried.

“Then why are you so excited about this.?”

Pip thought for a moment before answering,
“It just feels nice to know someone likes you, most people in this school generally dislike me, calling me “Pip” or “Frenchy”, I like feeling appreciated.”

Damien said this without thinking, regretting it while saying it,
“I like you, though.”
See? This kind of dumbassery is what sends people to hell, Damien was acting exactly like the sad withering demons he tortured back home.

“Not like that Damien.. I mean, like me,
romantically..”
Damien knew exactly that’s what Pip meant, yet the only thing he could bring himself to say was,
“Oh..”

The bell was the one who saved the two from their awkward silence, they both said their goodbyes and Damien went to wait outside of PC’s office for Kenny.

Kenny left the office and then noticed Damien waiting,
“Oh hey pus—“
Remembering that PC Principal was standing, very, near them, he didn’t finish that sentence.
Instead he just hurried him to the back of the school, to complain about Damien’s cowardice.
“Dude! Just looooook at me! I totally asked Butters out, face to face by the way, not with some girlie letter, and he said fucking yes! It’s like you have no balls Damien! Do you need a tampon or some shit? Ughhhhh..”

Damien wanted to hit him, he really did, but he knew that Kenny was right, so he drank a huge shot of RedBull and ran to the school’s entrance.
By now, school had just ended, so Pip was leaving any minute now.

“Oh! Hi Damien!”

Without even thinking, Damien grabbed his wrinkled letter from his pocket, aggressively, basically punched it into Pip’s hands, and fucking ran away, like a coward.