Even After You Die

SEVEN

"The new medication has indeed influenced his current state to improve slightly for the better," the doctor explains as he takes turns meeting the eyes of everyone in the room.

Haneul's mother sits in the chair, holding her father's hand. Sungho stands next to her, arms crossed over his chest while Haneul looks out through the window with his hands on his hips. I, feeling useless and out of place, sit in the corner and count the tiny black dots on the white-tiled floor.

"But," the doctor continues. "I am afraid if this treatment does not prove successful, there is not much else we can do."

My mother-in-law squeezes her eyes shut, enduring a violent shudder as the truth of the doctor's words hits her with full force.

"How long?" Sungho squeezes her shoulder.

"Three weeks, but even then, that amount of time cannot be guaranteed," the doctor answers. "My suggestion is that you contact all friends and family members to say their last goodbye."

And with saying that, the doctor leaves.

Haneul turns his head from the window to lock eyes with me. I give him a sad smile, my beaker of empathy and sympathy overflowing for him. At least the two weeks had been extended to three.

***

We walk in silence through the park enjoying the peace of the night, both of us either slowing or quickening our pace to walk side by side with each other. Haneul keeps his hands in his front pockets while mine hold the ice cream he bought for me. He had bought himself two but already managed to wolf them both down within a matter of seconds.

Crossing a bridge over a small, artificial stream, Haneul stops walking and rests his arms over the rail as he leans against it.

"If you're still hungry, you can have mine." I extend my half-eaten ice cream. It's mint chocolate chip so he probably won't take it anyway. His favorite is strawberry.

He smiles at the gesture but shakes his head. I shrug and continue eating it myself.

"Have you heard the saying that God only gives us what we can handle?" He asks suddenly and I pause, not expecting him to get all deep and philosophical. Especially not now. "That He'll never give us too heavy of a load?"

"Um..." I wipe the ice cream from my lips. "Sure, yeah I've heard something like that."

"If that's true—" he purses his lips together and looks down at me, showing me the burden weighing him down on the inside through his eyes "—He must have overestimated my abilities."

My heart shatters like Cinderella's slipper. With my free hand, I touch his bicep to let him know I'm here for him.

"Baby, don't say things like that." I caress his arm with my thumb. "I'm not super religious or devout, but if there is a God, I don't think He's that heartless. Especially not to a person like you."

The muscles in his face relax as he lowers his voice. "Did you just... call me baby?"

I blink, trying to keep my eyes from widening at the realization and quickly turn away to stuff the ice cream in my face to cool it off.

"Hold up." He catches my hand and pulls me back, pinning me between him and the railing. "You can't just say something like that and walk away."

"Oh, yes I can... I mean, I didn't say anything like that," I ramble on trying to ignore how close we are to each other. "So I don't know what you're talking about."

His face drops a little and he lets off, sticking his hands in his pockets again. I lick my ice cream as I eye him suspiciously, face still burning hot.