Happiness is a butterfly Kim Taehyung

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"I promise to not leave you.
I'm not like them, I wouldn't hurt you. You're special to me... I have fallen in love with you."

Blah blah blah

"I care about how you feel. Telling me how you feel isn't a bother to me."

Same shit he said, and the one before him. To be honest it's a cycle.

And if I brought it up that, the guy before him said that. He will say, I'm not like him.

I am different I care, I'm not him. Type of bullshit.

I lay on my bed thinking about the whole situation on why we broke up.

He wanted to take a break because of his mental health. I always cared and wanted to hear guys out, when it comes to their mental health.

A lot of men don't really talk about how they feel. But moving on, that's beside the point.

It turns out he had a mental breakdown because he felt bad he had backstabbed me and cheated on me.

With the girl, he told me not to worry about. But then dates her three days later.

I guess he didn't feel sorry? It's really giving traitor by Olivia Rodrigo.

But the whole time I didn't know...

I kind of knew something was going on but I really liked him and trusted him so I let that thought go over my head.

He was my first bf anyways I  guess.

Other guys that claimed to care about me only wanted to stay in the talking stage never wanted to really date me. They never saw a future with us.

It still hurt when I found out they decided to go for someone else.

Back to him, he always talked like a smart ass. But on other times he was sweet.

He would write me these letters, well technically paragraphs but they always felt like letters to me. They were on a personal level, just for me...

I finally get up from the bed and start to pack my things up.

" Hurry up, please!! We don't have all day!! I have to make it there before the office closes and if we miss it we have to wait for it in the morning and I know you don't feel like sleeping in the car!"

"I know I know! I'm almost done."I shout back to my mom......

Today is the day we start a new chapter, in a new place. I have really bad anxiety, sometimes I tend to stare off and tune everything out. I've been like this since I was 8...

"You're doing it again," she says, stopping at my door frame, lending looking at me. "You're spacing out, are you still talking to yourself again?"

"What? No, I'm just tired."I say rubbing my eyes.

"I hope that's the issue because you know you haven't been taking your medicine...."

"I know because you got cut from your last job, that you don't have enough money to pay for my medicine but mom I'm hundred percent fine, I'm just tired."

"I hope that is the issue"

" Mom I'm sure I am hundred percent fine."

This was a lie and not one of the first.

I have lied to her and everyone else...

I'm totally not fine...

I miss him and I'm sad how things ended...

~...Orange...~