Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 11

Vivianas POV

Today I have my first therapy appointment since my moms found out about my self harm habit-

I begged mama not to make me do this and she wasn't budging

I really don't see the point anymore, I mean they already know so why does it matter?

"Bambina you need to shower before your appointment" mama says and I groan and lay stay in bed

Technically I had school today but she wasn't making me go since I was already upset about the therapy appointment

"I don't wanna" I mumble as she walks out and I roll over in bed

I really just don't have the energy to shower right now

I had my clothes picked out, they were still in my closet but I know what I'm wearing

15 minutes later mama came back into my room

"Viviana!" She expresses

"I don't want to shower right now!" I yell and wince as soon as I said it

"So che sei arrabbiato ma perdi l'atteggiamento" she says in Italian, and I sigh,
{I know you're upset but lose the attitude}

"Sorry" I say and she nods and walks out

I didnt have to worry about them treating me any different, well not all the way

Mom is like so careful like she is going to set me off at any minute and I hate that

I know mama said to shower but I really didn't want to.

So of course I stayed in bed until I had to change which only took me 3 minutes

"Okay. Let's go" mama smiles and I nod and get in the car with her

"Mama I don't want to do this" I say and she sighs

"Vivi I know, I do. But, I think you need this. Try it a little and then afterwards if you don't like it we can stop" she says and I nod

I know they just want me healthy, mentally I guess

When we got in there mama checked me in and we waited for Alison to come out

"You'll be here?" I ask mama, I mean rationally I know she will.... I just want confirmation

"Of course bella" she smiles softly

I smiled and walked back the hall with Alison and into her office

"So how you doing?" She ask, and I sigh, I know moms want me to talk about my feelings and all but I don't want to do that with a stranger

But on the other hand i don't really wanna talk about it

"I'm good" I tell her and she gives me a look, not as scary as mom and mamas though

I sighed and took a deep breath. No point in lying about it

"I told my moms that I cut" I tell her and she nods

"Have you had any thoughts of seriously harming yourself?" She ask me,

I mean.... I'm not going to tell you that

"No," I tell her, lying a little bit but oh well

"So you said you told your moms you cut.... What was their reaction like?" She ask