Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 62

Emma's POV

I get to go see viv tomorrow, I am only allowed to see her on weekends, even with Maya and Carina okay with me coming whenever Kate won't let me

Kind of rude if you ask me

I mean over all this placement isn't bad, Kate is nice, her husband Roger is too but their son gives me the creeps

Adam is 19 and lives at home. When I first got to their house he came into the room I am staying in and told me how if I ever needed anything he would help

He's just a little too nice, and I don't want to be mean and tell him to leave me alone, it is his house

Anyhow, viv is ungrounded so she has her phone and we talk all the time, I don't really leave the room here so I'm thankful for her

I don't like the idea of living in some strangers house, I don't want to overstep or anything else,

I also wonder about my dad a lot, like I know he is in jail but for how long? And I don't. Feel comfortable talking to Kate about it,

I wanted to ask Maya when I seen her, I know she won't lie to me when I ask. Viv might be a little upset but she doesn't understand having the only family you have  left being torn away from you

Even if my dad wasn't the nicest, he is still my dad,

It was late now and I'm still in the room, I was in bed talking to viv when someone knocked on the door

"Come in" I say and Adam walks in

"Mom said to come and get you for dinner" he says

"Tell her thanks but I'm not hungry" I tell him

"You should eat Emma." He says and I sigh

"I will but I'm not hungry" I say again and he walks out and I turn back to the phone to see vivs disapproving look

"Princesa don't" I sigh

"You need to eat Emma. You're already tiny and you keep losing weight" she says and I nod

"I know.... But I can't. It feels weird sitting at a table with people i don't know, and I'm okay. I'm honestly not hungry" I tell her and she nods

If anyone would understand not being able to eat out of discomfort it would be her

"Okay.... You do know moms are going to make you eat this weekend though right?" She says and I smile

"Yes, and no one can turn down carinas cooking anyway" I say and she laughs

"That's true" she replies and I could hear Maya call her for dinner

"Call me later" I ask and she nods

"Of course, I love you" she says

"Love you too" I tell her

Once I got off the phone with her I went ahead and gathered everything so I could shower while the rest of the house was busy

After I finished my shower and got ready for bed I made sure I had everything for vivs ready since I am walking to the station after school

I soon got into bed and waited for vivs call again, I talked to her until kate came into the room

"Are you sure you aren't hungry?" She ask me and I nod

"I'm sure" I tell her and she nods and sits down on the bed

"I know this is all pretty scary for you, and we don't want to push but, you should really start eating. Even if it's just here in your room" she says and I nod

"I know, and I'll try" I say and she smiles

"That's all I ask, goodnight honey" she says and cuts the light off and walks out of the room

Once she left and I pulled the blanket up over myself and fell asleep

—-

A little bit later, it didn't seem like long so I had no idea what time it was but the bedroom door opened and that woke me up

I didn't move at first in fear, I didnt know who is coming in the room

I seen Adam come in and shut the door and I sat up

"What are you doing in here?" I ask him and he comes over to the bed and I kept the blanket tightly around me

"Adam get out" I say and he chuckles

"Why would I do that? I just want to make sure you're okay" he says and puts his hand on my leg over the blanket

"I'm fine, now can you get out so I can go to bed?" I ask

"I can stay, I don't mind" he says, the only light in the room was from a small lamp but I could see the smile on his face

"Please leave" I say and he moves his hand under the blanket and up higher and out of instinct I kicked him and he fell off the bed

"Why are you being such a bitch? I just wanted to help" he says and gets back on the bed and puts his hand back under the cover and  touching my private area and I kick him again, this time with more force

"Get out!" I yell and he smirks and stands up

"You'll beg for my help one day, just wait" he says and walks out of the room

I couldn't go back to sleep, I was too scared, what if he comes back in here and I don't wake up

I sat in the corner of the bed that was pushed up against the wall

I pulled my knees to my chest and cried,

I don't want to be here, I want to be anywhere rather than here.

I want to go home, back to my house. With my dad. He may have hit me but that was it. He never went further than that

I didn't sleep at all that night, I got up and packed a bag with all of my belongings and left, it was day already so they would just think I was going to school

I kept walking to the station, past the station and to the house I grew up in

I picked up a rock in the garden and grabbed the spare key and walked inside

The place was still a mess, everything is knocked over but I ignored it all and went to my room and pulled a box out from under my bed

It kept just a small few things, pictures of me and my mom, a necklace she always wore, a letter she wrote me when I first started school and on top of it all was a razor blade

I didn't know it was there, I must have forgotten it but I was so glade I found it

I took it out of the box and put the box down and pulled my pants down so I had access to my thighs

Most of my scars weren't very visible, there were a few dark colored ones but ignored them all and let the blade slide across my leg

I instantly felt better as the initial shock filled my body

I watched as the line turned red and cut again, and again

And a few more times, now the blood was collecting and falling off my thigh and I sighed as I watched it

I just sat on my bed with tears rolling down my face, not because of the pain but because of how bad I felt, I promised viv I wouldn't do it again

I promised her I wouldn't cut anymore and I did, I betrayed that

And I didn't want to go back to that house, not ever.

I laid down in my bed that was now collecting dust but I didn't care, it was familiar and I don't have a lot of that

I stayed there for a while and when I got up the blood had dried all over my leg but the house didn't have any water anymore so I couldnt wash it off

I just pulled my pants back up and grabbed my bags and walked back to the station

Till next time❤️

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