The Girl in the Elevator (ONC 2022)

5. Party of Tea

"It started when I went to work this morning," Sam began. He fiddled with his too-long sleeves. There was so much red plaid he wasn't sure what to do. Every time he pushed the cuffs up to his wrists, they fell down three seconds later.

To Sam's right, an overly-muscled man nodded and smiled in the way lions smiled. "Go on."

Sam swallowed nervously. He liked the Chip Commando much better when he was eating Doritos and sharing them. This nodding and smiling business was somehow far scarier.

"I took the elevator," he went on, and his voice most definitely did not squeak. "There was this lady. She was really pretty and had the best red hair."

His grandmother rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle. She took a long swig. When she set it down, the pungent scent of alcohol wafted across the table.

Sam wrinkled his nose. He sneaked a glance to the Tea Commando on his left. The guy still nursed his tea from the pink Crabby Cakes mug. There must have been an endless supply in there, for the mug was still half full and the Tea Commando had done nothing else but drink tea since Sam arrived.

"What happened in the elevator?" Chip asked. The muscles in his arms bulged obscenely when he leaned forward on the table. He must eat a lot of eggs and drink a lot of milk, because Gran always said those two things helped people grow up strong and healthy.

Sam tried not to stare. He wished he had muscles like that. "I - I don't know?"

"Well, what did you see?"

"Nothing. The lights went out."

Chip paused. "The lights went out in the elevator?"

Sam nodded.

"Why?"

Sam shrugged. "It stopped and the lights went out."

"Okay, so the elevator lost power. Then what?"

"Then she exploded. I think."

"You think?"

"Yeah. There was this pop, like a balloon popping." Sam gestured, though the plaid sleeves dangling over his hands obscured the movement. "Everything got wet and gooey. When the lights came back on, she was gone."

"Gone?" Chip's eyebrows rose. He sounded very intrigued. "Like, completely?"

"Well," Sam thought about it for a moment. "I think she was all over the walls and ceiling, maybe? It was an awful mess. And I had to get to work. But..."

He trailed off, frowning. Things hadn't gone so well after that. What a disaster. He buried his face in his sleeve-covered palms and sighed. He still had to tell Gran that he got fired.

"So, what you're saying is, is that you met a woman in the elevator. The power went out and she popped like a water balloon," Chip said. "Am I right?"

"Yeah, that's what I said." Sam impressed – this Commando was a pretty good listener.

"And her blood and guts covered everything, including you."

"Yep."

"Hm, I see."

Sam's grandmother grumbled, "You seriously can't be believing his nonsense."

Chip smiled. "Actually, we do. It's why we're here."

"It really happened, Gran," Sam told her. "That's what I was talking about on the phone!"

"Ugh." She took another drink from the bottle.

Tea mirrored her actions, though with far more dignity and elegance. Though he drank tea, of course. The only thing missing was the pinky in the air.

Chip gestured for Sam to go on.