That's Life

Chapter 3

The gusts of wind were comforting, it was the sound they made and how it distracted his thoughts. Work was different now, it was startling and weird. Every day took that bit more of getting used to, the way he walked onto the ward and wished he could hear one of Jac's insults but there was nothing, just painful and hurtful memories of what it once more. Darwin was never the same again, it wasn't Darwin anymore without Jac. It got him thinking and then grand gestures occurred, Jac wasnt one for those but her memory and the loss of her presence struck something deep within everyone.

"Does it make the pain that bit better?"

"Nothing will ever cure that pain" he states looking up at the plaque in the peace garden, he thought it was a step too far to change the name of Darwin to Naylor as well but everyone else seemed to think it fit "It won't magic back her alive again, how do we know if she would want this?"

"It's not about that, it's about remembering isnt it?"

"What are you even doing back here?" Fletch counters looking at Chloe who was standing beside him, both of them in the same stance, arms folded and looking at the plaque on the wall

"You wouldn't even believe me if I said I was a locum would you?"

"No"

"Just...back to the roots, we have to do Jac proud don't we?" Chloe puts to him, he couldnt help but let out a bitter laugh, grief was still present he thought it always would be "I'm sorry I couldnt make it to the memorial and the funeral for that matter"

"You don't need to apologise," Fletch says quietly and Chloe smiles before walking off again, he closes his eyes and shakes his head reading the plaque once more "I hope you're ok with this, I really do, Jac"

-CS-

Every day that went past the more he watched things change, people came and went but it was weird more and more people came. A lot of things had changed, a tremendous amount had really changed and he was still in disbelief that it had. Every now and then he took in the ward, watching as everyone old and new did their job. His eyes were just focussed on it all, everything was a blur and it was something that he couldnt quite get to grips with, sometimes it made him anxious and sometimes it really did make him feel an immense amount of grief.

"Are you ok?" Zosia asks placing a hand on his shoulder, he sighs looking her up and down and the navy blue scrubs she was wearing, that was another thing to get used to having those back and for him, it was just another painful reminder of Jac "She's still here but not, if that makes sense"

"I know she is" Fletch smiles and Zosia just smiles sympathetically at him "You never did tell me why you came back?"

"I'd like to think it would be what Jac would have wanted to start and finish my career here. We're going to put this place back on the map like Jac would have wanted"

"What if I can't do that without her being here?"

"I guess that's a decision you'll have to make but whatever you need we're here, one big family" Zosia smiles and Fletch smiles back at her before watching her walk off, he sighs and sits at the nurse's station letting out a long breath

"Fletch, a word" Madge's voice brought him out of his thoughts so he smiled and walked into her office, she gestures for him to take a seat "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, it makes more sense to me now more than anything, a fresh start"

"Well, I'll deal with this for you as long as you're sure"

"I'm sure, I want to resign, everything makes sense now it's the right thing to do" he confirms and Madge smiles at him as he goes to leave the office, running his hands over his face he let out a sigh and looked around the ward, everyone doing their jobs like Jac once did hers, it was too much and he needed a break from this place

-CS-

"Word on the street is that you're leaving"

"Don't try and talk me out of it Mo," he says quietly packing his bag, she shakes her head gently and folds her arms across her chest "You, Zosia and Frieda and Chloe have this covered as well as Eli, Nicky as well, you're going to take this place to the next level and I don't want to be a part of that, you understand why, right?"

"I understand, it'll be a shame to see you go and I'm assuming it's your last day today?"

"Yeah, it is, it's the right thing to do for me, for now" he smiles and Mo gestures for a hug so he accepts and smiles at her "I need to just...live life without being in the shadow of Jac, I will always love her, everyone knows that but I think it's time to just step away from this place, all the constant reminders and just...live my life and never look back"

"There will always be a Fletch-sized hole" Mo smiles and Fletch nods before sighing and picking up his phone "And if there's anything that you need, I'm a phone call away"

"Thanks, Mo" he confirms with a small smile as they leave the locker room, he looks at the office and sighs slightly before looking back at Mo "There is something I need to do first though"

"Well I'll leave you to it" Mo confirms and walks off, he sighs and walks into the office and to Jac's desk which had practically remained untouched since she passed away and takes the potted rose into his hands with a soft smile on his face

-CS-

"A new career change?"

"Hardly" Fletch rolls his eyes at Frieda who was smirking "What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be holding some poor guys beating heart in your hand?"

"It's my break and you're changing your career to gardening by the looks of things"

"One of Jac's patients got her this rose, I always said it would be a shame if it didn't bloom" Fletch smiles and Frieda watches him plant it in the peace garden "A memory of Jac, for people to enjoy. Something to remember her by, Naylor's rose is what he said if I remember rightly"

"Have you lost the plot?" Frieda looks at him and Fletch laughs at her comment before picking up his bag and then turning back to admire the now planted rose

"Not just yet Frieda but getting away from this place...it'll do me the world of good, a well-earned break, separating my grief away from this place I just hope that Jac would be proud of me"

"She'd be proud of you carrying on Fletch, we'll do her proud" Frieda confirms and Fletch nods as they leave the gardens, he turns to look at the hospital building in all its glory "I guess this is it then, a new life awaits"

"A new life tainted by my old one makes it slightly more tolerable, hug?" he tries and Frieda turns her nose up causing him to laugh "One day you'll do it"

"Sentimentalities aren't really my thing" she quips and follows his gaze "Just don't lose you Fletch, there will always be a set of scrubs for you here when you're ready"

"Yeah, I guess there will be but for now, this is the right thing to do" he confirms and Frieda nods "Bye for now"

"Don't worry, I'll spread the word" Frieda nods and then walks off, he sighs and smiles at the sun setting on another day, a day full of confirmation, he looks to the bench and smiles knowing time was definitely a healer but the memories of the person he loved would always be there and he just knew she was still there, in spirit.