You're So Stubborn! [AU]

Chapter 7//Burning Memories

It was difficult to settle into a life like that, he had lived alone for as long as he could remember. But one cookie had a tendency to be friendly and social to him.
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(Up is a song that is kinda of like Spices theme song is sad but fits him perfectly. It's also one of my favs)
(TW: Angst, Mentions of trama, death, depression)
GingerSpice's POV

I woke up and surprisingly it wasn't because I was being poked by Necromancer. I happened to just wake up on my own, the first thing that I noticed that was odd was that Necromancer was actually sleeping. Of course it looked like he had actually fallen asleep reading, book still in hand. I smiled happy that he was actually getting sleep and took the book from him putting it in the empty spot on the bookshelf.

I also gently snuck the hat off of his head placing it on the side of the headrest. How does he sleep with that scarf on? I wondered glancing at his scarf. I soon felt like I had been staring at him for too long and turned away, no quit staring at him sleep that's weird.. I thought to myself. What was odd about him sleeping was that he didn't even make a single peep, he was just silent. I suppose he is just like that. I thought almost as if he is dead..wait he's not dead is he..? I looked at him again, he's breathing stop being so stupid! I yelled at myself, facepalming.

I walked out of my room to see nobody there I guess I am awake pretty early. I assumed and looked around for something to do. I saw out the window that everything was soaked from the storm, I was just thankful that it was over. I was acting like such a scary cat last night..he probably thinks I'm even worse of a burden now. I realized sadly, you always have to be a burden don't you? Such a waste of time and space. You're the reason that all your friends are in danger. Just too weak to even try to save her huh?  I flinched back at he memory of that. It was such a taunt, it hurt so bad to remember that. But I would force myself to remember it, it was my fault I deserve every bit of pain that she went through. On that fateful day I just had to get bored of the kingdom and explore the woods outside of it. I should have listened to my parents, I was so stupid. I felt like crying, no your going to wake up someone..shut up! I yelled at myself internally and quickly went outside.

Nobody could hear me out here, I didn't deserve anyones empathy or even grain of pity. I ran off past the pond area. I just felt like I was so useless, It would be better off if I wasn't here in the first place, it would make everyone so much happier. Why won't you tell them? Are you just too much of a coward? Selfish, worthless and a coward! I kept criticizing until I just sat down in the middle of some kind of field. I just sat there my hands wrapped around my knees and just thought of her, she never deserved that.

On that day when we went into the forest was the day I meet Dark Enchantress. The day that I just stood there and watched her unable to do anything, as she proceeded to tell me how I would be doing what she said from now on or everyone I love would suffer the consequences. Then the 'demonstration' was GingerSugar, why did I ever bring her that day? It's all your fault you're friend is dead and you should be too. You're two years overdue of it. I yelled at myself, I started chipping slightly away at the crust of my dough I couldn't help but have such a hatred of myself. Why do they pretend to like me..at least Necromancer is honest. He doesn't really hold back too much, some people might call that being mean but I personally like it. At least I know what he really feels. Thinking about him seemed to distract me.

I have to admit that I did have a tiny bit of a crush on him. Actually more like I had a huge crush on him..I know he didn't like me back in the slightest I just love to make him happy. Would he be very happy if he found out I ran off though..? I realized he probably wouldn't be very happy if he found me like this, he's been weirdly caring lately. He definitely wouldn't be happy if he found out I was well, doing this.. I thought looking at the places on my arm where a little dough was cracked off, luckily it wasn't enough to cause jam to bleed out. Is that too noticeable..? I suppose most of my scars are pretty visible. I thought gazing at them vaguely. He is good at noticing details Ill just act like I scraped the side of my arm on a tree while I was walking.