TW: suicide
Up on deck, he was blackbeard
He was the Kraken
He had thrown Lucius overboard, he had abandoned most of the crew, he had forced Izzy to eat his own toes, he would be the most feared pirate, once more
But below decks, in Stede's old office, he would sit, curled up, by the window, drinking, crying, his makeup smudged.
He missed Stede and was so angry at him. He wanted to get rid of every trinket, every book, every memory of him away, but every moment spent without him was a moment in memory of their times together. He couldn't bear it.
He couldn't bear the lack of his presence. How it felt like he was waiting around every corner, but he was never there. He couldn't bear the thought of never being able to kiss him again.
He knew Stede must hate him, and even if he did come back which he couldn't, and wouldn't, he would hate what he had done.
Stede would hate him.
But he couldn't go back now.
No one could forgive him. Not even Stede.
Eventually the nights alone with the alcohol, turned into nights alone with alcohol and a knife held under his chin.
Choked sobs, glass bottle in hand, neck dripping slightly with blood as he pressed further, but not quite finding the strength or courage to end it all.
He was pathetic
He was a coward
He was a failure
He wasn't good enough for Stede
He couldn't even manage to do this
He should just get on with it
"We can run away, we can go to china"
He mumbled to himself
He threw the knife at the wall and let his head drop against his knees
He sobbed violently and hit the back if his head with his fists.
There was a knock on the door
"Captain, theres something you need to see"
"Can't it WAIT??"
"not really blackbeard, sir, its urgent"
Stupid fucking Izzy, interrupting shit.
"I'll be there in a moment"
"Right, captain"
Ed threw his head back against the wall and yelled
He got up and punched the wall a few times before getting up, fixing his makeup and going out to see what the fuck Izzy wanted
To his horror. In a small dinghy. Was the man he wanted to see the most and the least in the world.
The Kraken told him to kill him. He hurt you. He abandoned you. He left you. He's the reason you cry yourself to sleep every night. He's the one thing holding you back.
While Ed told him that he would still forgive you. He would hold you and love you, and if you brought him onto the ship he would kiss you through the tears. He would forgive you no matter what you have done. You can still run away together.
He panicked, he dudnt know what to do.
"Bring him onto the ship and put him in the brig. I'll decide what to do with him later"
أنت تقرأ
Our Flag Means Death oneshots (Mainly Ed And Stede)
قصص الهواةbrain is gone only gay pirates now (Cover is not my art)
