Love Languages || Georgenotfound

Words of Affirmation

Dear Florence,

Writing letters to myself about you is comforting in a way. It's crazy to think that writing words on a piece of paper and then burning them immediately is calming. It's my weird way to cope with the loss of you, even if it was almost over a year since the incident. I still miss you, a lot. A lot more than you thought.

I remember a random day in July, I was just having a rough week. I haven't left my room at all, my room looked like a dumpster fire, I didn't eat, I didn't take a shower, I was just a mess. It seems so stupid now that I'm writing it out, but I shouldn't invalidate my experiences, that's something you told me not to do. I would say that I was saved. I was saved by you.

You came knocking on my door, you came running towards me, you came asking how I was. As I said, I could never express how grateful I was. You helped me clean up my room, you made food for me, and you prepared a bubble bath for me. It was you. It was all you.

That night, I was tired. We were tired. But there were a few words that I could pick out while I was fading in and out of consciousness. You said, "You did such a good job today. I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself today. I love you." That was the best thing I heard all week, all month, maybe even all year.

You don't know how much those words meant to me-how much you mean to me. I could feel that you loved me. It felt like you appreciated me being around. You made me reach my fullest potential, but I can't say I did the same with you. You left me too early. I wish you could still compliment me on my eyes, or I could compliment you on your outfit. I wish you could still say "I love you" to me. I wish you were still around.

Your lover,
George