Lovers & Friends

L&F CHAPTER 12.

Kelly POV

Last night was mad funny.... I mean like the fact this girl thought I was just finna let her fuck on another bitch is mad crazy. She is the total package and anyone would be lucky to have her, and I know this which is why I did what I did, she's mines but she's not mine. We're not official and I have no intention of being with her intimately but at the same time she can't be with anyone els if that makes sense? Is it toxic? Maybe but I think she may feel the same way. Honestly I'm just at a very confusing time in my life right now like I love just simply being in her presence, hearing her laugh, smelling her perfume, getting her support on things my husband would not, I mean the list goes on and on. But she's hella younger than me and all though Tim is not being the ideal husband right now, I can't help that I love him.

I mean I been with this man since before y/n was even born. This is the father of my child I can't just give up 25 years. But on the flip side he seemed fine with giving that up, all of a sudden 25 years meant nothing. 25 years was worth 5 minutes of pleasure, 25 years was worth his wife crying at night wondering what she did or didn't do for him, 25 years meant having his wife look herself in the mirror wondering if she's still beautiful. The past 25 years meant nothing to him! not him, his son, his wife, his family, NOT ANYTHING!!! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HIM, I LOVED HIM!!! I GAVE EVERY PEICE OF MYSELF I COULD POSSIBLY GIVE TO THIS MAN AND IT MEANT NOTHING!!!! Sometimes when we argue I would look into his eyes I just figured he'll remember our connection and be freed from his lies.

I thought I was something he couldn't replace, but the longer I stared the blanker his stare became. And I just couldn't understand and couldn't defend as my tears stream down my face it's as if he didn't notice them. How did we get here? Was we not having enough sex? I mean what is it? I have no answer, and the more I ask him the more I learn he have none either. (AN- if y'all a barb then y'all know what I just did there credit to Nicki 😊). He decides when to just get up and leave while I on the other hand have to explain to our son why daddy isn't around as much as he used to before, he can get up and leave and go god knows where with who knows who while I still have to work long hours provide for my family while also juggling being a mother. And now that I finally find someone that makes me happy, makes me feel young, makes me feel seen,makes me feel heard, makes my mind cum, makes my body cum, I can't enjoy it and live in the moment because of this crazy amount of guilt I feel.

The crazy amount of sorrow I feel because although she is a amazing woman,has incredible wife material, and probably would make a better second parent to Titan then Tim, I just can't bring myself to be with her fully. I know I'm not good for her which is the real reason I stayed away from her those two months but when I seen her with that Jhene bitch I just lost it. Cause if I can easily see how good she is I know someone els can spot the same thing from a mile away. And you can call me selfish,crazy or whatever you'll like but I'm not sharing her, in this dark place I'm in she's my only light and you'll have to kill me before I just let you come and take it away.

I've liked her the moment I seen her, it's her vibe that'll draw you in and in my case it was exactly that. Then soon after we became good friends, even as friends I wanted to kiss her. At the party I had wayyyy to much to drink and got carried away. But I don't regret it one bit, as I turn to my side I see her already looking at me, we hold eye contact for what seems like a lifetime. I think we both have an crazy amount of unspoken attraction and admiration for one another, I scoot over closer to her and lay on her chest. Listening to her heart beat is the best music in the world and within seconds all the thoughts I had running through my minds just mir seconds ago seemed to disappear into thin air I wish I could stay this at peace forever. I fall asleep before I even know

The Next Morning
10 a.m

"Kelly! Kelly! Get Up" I'm shaken away I look above me seeing my beautiful girl looking down at me "Kelly get up you got to go I have to go pick up my son" she says I look over at the time seeing I have to go pick up Titan from my moms anyway

" Yeah ok , do you have any spare toothbrushes?" I already know the answer I just want to stall and spend more time with her

"Kelly stop acting like this your first time being over here" she say rolling her eyes.
Ok I see someone pissed in her cereal this morning "And can you please hurry so I can lock up"

"Yeah ok"

Y/N POV

I really don't have to pick up my son I just made up an excuse to get her out my house faster. After the stunt she pulled last night I felt confused, and I hate feeling confused. She don't speak to me for months, she seen me the moment I walked into T's party but didn't speak until she seen my with Jhene, she comes over shows her ass but gives me a hand job? Then she has the nerve to look at me as if she has all these emotions for me. We were friends way before the threesome and honestly I was willing to forget it hoping we could maintain our friendship, I feel like it's a lot she's not telling me and she knows she can tell me anything. But I can't force her but what I won't do is allow her to play with my love life because she wants to be toxic. I'm sure it's millions of people who's attracted to toxicity but I'm not, so go find one of them and leave me alone. I feel like she's using me she'll say she feels this way about me but her actions tells me different.

Kelly knows as friends I have a soft spot for her we can joke around and say shit to each other that if anyone els was to dare say would basically be them asking for their own death, Kelly can do things that I probably wouldn't let my girlfriend do, I even let her around my kid and I'm very protective of him because I know because of my condition he may get bullied for it so I try to protect and shield him form everyone. Me and Kelly was just so close but it's just like after we had sex the first time she became this distant person I never recognized. But it's fine I just need her to stop using me as her muse for whatever she's going through, I know she knows I was rushing her out I could see it on her face whenever we would sleepover at one of ours rooms we would lay in cuddle to the very last second before we had to go and rehearse.

It's kind of funny though it's like talking shit is our love language or something cause we would talk shit and argue with each other so much that people really thought we hated each other and it wasn't that at all it was all fun and games to us then when it was bedtime we were each other's teddy bear, I just find that funny. I'm snapped out of my flashbacks when I hear the bathroom door open and slam shut. Kelly angrily stumps past me all the way to the front door and slamming it shut as she walks out. I slap my palm against my forehead and count from 10, Kelly can have the worst attitude. everyone knows not to slam a person door shut especially a black persons and she did exactly that.

Her long head ass 🙄 next time ima slam the mf with her face I mumble walking back to my room