Not Just A Roadie / Queen Fanfiction

5 • Rejection

i twisted so hard in my seat to catch the face of the woman who just asked me to have sex with her that my back audibly crunched painfully.

Brian, Freddie and John had obviously just heard this too because they all turned to look at me with horrorstricken faces.

I caught sight of the woman who was heading to the bathroom. I didn't quite see her face, but she looked rather beautiful from the back. she wore a pair of dark blue boot cut jeans that hugged her curves perfectly and a red long sleeve shirt tucked into it, long, dyed purple hair flowing down her back.

usually I'd get turned on just thinking about what she wanted me to do to her, but this time I felt incredibly uneasy. I knew that Zara and I had broken up over a month ago now, and a sense of betrayal was long since off the table, but it still felt odd to be having sex with somebody else now.

the thought of being with somebody else with no commitment made me miss Zara more than I had done in a while.

"so what are you gunna do, Rog?" Freddie asked comically down my ear. I shuddered and snapped back into reality. what was I to do? this woman would be waiting for me - for the drummer of Queen to shag her. but I didn't want to and all of a sudden I felt small.

"i don't know. what should I do?" I asked, giving the band all a worried look. I knew I must've looked pathetic getting all worried because an attractive girl found me alluring, but in that moment I just felt so vulnerable.

"well, do you want to?" Brian asked, nudging my elbow.

"......no." was my 100% honest reply, met by a series of gasps from the rest of the band.

"guess I'm up, then," Brian laughed, pretending that he was about to get up and make his way to the cabin toilet. I didn't reciprocate his laughter.

amiss Brian's joke, he still looked concerned for me. if my breakup with Zara hadn't have been so messy, I would have ran to that toilet, well actually I wouldn't have gone at all without further question because I'd have a girlfriend. but there was nothing stopping me now bar my own grief and that thought made me want this damn plane to crash.

I left her in the toilet, much to Freddie's amusement and my embarrassment. she emerged twenty minutes later and brushed past me again, this time with a sharp dig of her elbow into my arm. I rubbed it, pulling an "eek" face to Brian and tried not to think about it for the rest of the journey.

somehow I'd managed to sleep on the plane and I woke up half an hour before we were due to land with somebody hitting my knee with a rolled up magazine. it was Brian. I lifted my head off his shoulder and sat up, feeling disconsolate from the small amount of sleep. "get up, you lump." Brian said, heaving me off of his shoulder. I swore at him and sat up straight in my seat, checking my watch.

I wasn't even embarrassed that I'd fallen asleep on Brian's shoulder - it definitely wasn't the first time, we'd been touring on a rough budget back in the early days; and my mind had raced back to the girl. the girl who was sitting four seats in front of me. the girl who i could see from where i was sitting. well that's awkward: first thing she'll see when she gets up is me. fabulous.

I spent the rest of the journey willing for it to end, sinking in my now itchy seat out of embarrassment, confusion, boredom and anticipation. i'd never felt all of these things at once before and I was very much looking forward to checking into the hotel that Reid had booked us, so that I could sleep it all off. Reid had organised for us to stay in a hotel for the first two nights before moving into the less luxurious tour bus we'd rented.

finally, after what felt like a decade, I felt the plane jolt and there were a few waves of turbulence as the aircraft descended onto the runway. I always hated the feeling of my ears popping when the plane landed; Brian had tactfully handed out some sweets for us all to suck on so that our ears didn't pop.

when we were given the get-go to leave, I turned around and avoided eye contact with The Girl From The Toilet and filed out between John and Brian. my favourite (and slightly gangly) bodyguards, who enjoyed taking the piss out of my shame.

soon enough we were in a taxi and then checked into our hotel rooms. I was sharing a room with Freddie, and John and Brian were to share the second room, whilst Reid and Paul shared a third. the hotel wasn't the nicest I've ever stayed in, but it was nice enough considering we were probably on a bit of a tight budget as we'd not even had our first concert yet. having a tour bus to travel across America in couldn't have come cheap.

I was glad to dump my stuff down and sit on the springy mattress whilst watching Freddie examine everything: the puffiness of the pillows, the crispness of the towels, you name it. my mind was still in the plane, trying to reason with myself why I didn't follow The Girl From The Toilet.

eventually, I couldn't take my drumming thoughts and the sounds of Freddie's bare footsteps anymore, so I headed down the hall to see what Brian and John were up to. their door was slightly ajar and I could hear what they were saying. I stopped just outside to listen, because I'd heard my name.

"I'm worried, John," I heard Brian say, no doubt he'd be springing one of his loose curls. "Roger's never been like this before, you know - you've been there. whenever a girl offers herself to him, he takes it. i don't know what's gotten into him..."

"well, it's obvious, isn't it?" I heard John quip in, "he's still not over Zara, he loves her, and I don't think he could handle that not being reciprocated." John's words stung with the truth.

"I think you'll find that's loved, past tense, John," I piped in, stepping into the room and clicking the door shut behind me.

"oh...hi Roger, we were just discussing-" Brian trailed off.

"me. yeah, I know. don't beat around the bush, Bri." I shook my head and sunk into a chair at the end of John's bed - which was closest to the door - and put my head in my hands. "I think I'm just going go to bed, nothing personal," I muttered feebly after a moments silence, standing up and leaving the room without a backwards glance.

my emotions didn't feel powerful enough to have the impact they were having right now. it wasn't so much that I wasn't over Zara - because I pretty much was - it was that I'd rejected a perfectly fine girl with no real explanation. that wasn't me.