Chronically Ill Tsukki

Arc Two Chapter 2

*Time skip to practice*

TSUKKI POV:
I pop a Zofran during a water break. I know it won't do anything but it's worth a try. It at least makes me feel like I'm doing something. The rice I ate for lunch continues to tourture my insides, spinning around in my stomach aimlessly as I run drills. Jumping up for block after block is doing nothing for my nausea. As I come down from what feels like the hundredth block of the day I feel my stomach jolt. I try to tamp down the internal motion but I'm having no luck. I race to the edge of the court. Just like any good chronically ill teen I always know where the nearest trashcan is so as I feel the contents of my stomach climbing my esophagus I know exactly where to go. I throw myself on my knees next to the bench and start retching into the small trashcan on the edge of the court. The bottom is scattered with discarded finger tape and empty waterbottles that quickly begin being covered up by my undigested rice.
I can hear the squeak of sneakers as someone rushes over to me.

"Whoa now kid," Ukai says behind me coming to a stop.

I continue wretching uncontrollably until all that's coming up is stomach acid. It burns my throat as it makes its way out of my body. I cough, then spit into the trash can trying to get the taste of my insides out of my mouth.

"Sorry coach," I say standing up and grabbing the trash can.

"I'll bring it outside"

"Not so fast!" Coach scolds

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I say dryly

"Just nauseous"

I start making my way out the door, trash can in hand when I hear someone shout from across the gym.

"How long has this been going on?"

I stop dead in my tracks and turn around. It's Kageyama.

"I was in the bathroom a few weeks ago and you were throwing up in the stall next to me, I didn't mention it cause I didn't want to bother you but I heard it again last week and now this"

Daichi starts glaring at me.

"Tsukkishima? What's going on?" He says with an accusatory glare.

I sigh, "I've been really nauseous lately. It's not a big deal, just annoying"

"Tsukki you never throw up, something's wrong," Yamaguchi says in a worried tone making eye contact with me.

I avert my eyes. Deep down I know this isn't right. This shouldn't be happening. But if I acknowledge this is anything more than a PPPD flare I'm opening up a whole new can of worms that I don't if I will ever be able to close again.

"When was the last time you kept a meal down?" He asks.

I try and think back but I'm coming up blank, "ummm"

"Tsukki," Yamaguchi says in a warning tone.

I sigh, "about four weeks ago I think"

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi exclaims.

He stalks over to me, grabs my hair and pulls.

A cacophony of protest erupts from the team as they rush over to stop the altercation in process but before anyone can get their hands on Yamaguchi he pulls away and holds out his palm. A significant amount of my hair lies in the palm of his hand. I look at it and gulp then slowly move my eyes to meet Yamaguchi's face. His eyes are still plastered to the hair in his palm.

"Tsukki" he says quietly as his eyes rise to meet mine.

I'm speechless.

I've known my hair is falling out for a few weeks now but seeing Yamaguchi look at me like that completely silences me. Hair loss is a symptom of malnutrition. A symptom I know all to well. Back in middle school when I was struggling to eat because of PPPD caused nausea I suffered from malnutrition for over a year. It was the worst year of my life. I was dying and now it's happening again. Seeing Yamaguchi looking up at me with hurt in his eyes makes me feel guilty for not telling him sooner. Watching me go through malnutrition was really hard for him. He has a right to know if he's going to be doing it again.

"I thought it had only been four weeks?" Yamaguchi almost whispers.

The amount of hair in his hand is far more than I would have lost after four months of malnutrition in middle school but it's only been four weeks.

I hold out the trashcan for him to look into. The grains of rice are completely undigested. Not an ounce of nutrition drained from them.

"Everything comes up like this"

Back in middle school I rarely threw up. It was more of an issue of food restriction due to nausea that caused my malnutrition. When I did throw up the food had been drained of at least some nutrients before making a reappearance.

Yamaguchi looks in the trash can and takes a shaky breath, "it's time to make an appointment with Dr. Moyal."

I just nod my head.

"I know."

A/N: ugh, I feel like this arc isn't turning out nearly as good as the first one but hopefully it's still entertaining! I just don't really know where I'm going with the story at this point 🙈