Family? Not always

Part 17

Mac POV

I felt my heart melt at Dylan's words. He was good to me. When we left for another safe house, I was sitting in the living room with Dylan after arriving there. My brothers and Dylan's brothers came to the living room soon after that. "I am hungry. Can I have a toast?" I asked Ryan. He looked at me, "just a toast? Are you sure?" "Well, it's too late to eat more than a toast." "What do you mean?" "I can't sleep with a full stomach. So a toast is perfect for hunger and sleep." "Okay, I will bring you a toast. Be right back." When he left, I turned to my big brother, "Sam, I would like to talk to you, Alex and Dylan. But Luke should keep Ryan occupied. He can't hear it, not from me. I can't tell him that." Sam looked at my tears, "don't worry, okay. When Ryan comes back, Luke takes him to Macky's room to clean up." Luke nodded. Ryan brought me my toast, "thank you, Ray." He smiled at me, "are you giving me a nickname, Kenz?" "Of course, Ray Ray." We laugh about it.

After Luke and Ryan leave the room, Sam turns to me, "sweat pea, what did you want to talk about." I was worried, so I turned to Alex, "Alex, please take his gun away from him. And don't give it back to him today. Okay?" "How do you know about my gun?" I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Dylan chuckled. "Alex, promise me." Alex took his gun away from him, "I promise."

"Okay. Here goes nothing. Two years ago, I had an episode. My mom, my stepmom, did something terrible, and I almost died after that." "What did she do? How did you almost die?" "Um, she sold me to her friend for one night when I was sixteen." "What? You can't be serious. To who?" Now I felt the same shame and worthlessness consume me. Tears fell from my eyes; Sam pulled me onto his lap. I couldn't look at them, but I had to speak the rest of it. "After that, I couldn't leave my room for a week. I didn't sleep or eat. I COULDN'T TAKE IT when I heard my stepmom talking to him again. I tried to run away for the first time. I didn't get far; my stepmom saw me sneaking out. She dragged me back to my room and locked me in there. That night I took some sleeping bills. Kelly found me a few hours later; I guess I took too much because I was in the hospital when I woke up. I had been in a coma for five days." Sam hugged me tightly. "I want to know who was that man?" "It doesn't matter anymore; he died a month after that in a car crash."

When my tears stopped, I saw Ryan standing in the doorway. I watched him warily. I looked down in shame; I didn't want him to see me like that. No one talked; everything was so quiet. I felt new tears forming in my eyes. I heard footsteps closer to me, "Kenzie, I love you." That was Ryan's first sentence after my confession. He pulled me to his lap. I hold onto him. "I love you too, Ray Ray." "I love you too, Macky," Sam said. I smiled at him, "I love you too, Sammy." Alex laughed at that, "nice nickname, Sammy." I turned my head to him, tilting my head and narrowing my eyes, "are you laughing at my brother, Lexi?" He wiped the smile from his face while others burst out a laugh. Alex humphed no to me. I smiled at my brothers.

"Time for bed," Sam announced. This time Dylan carried me to my room, which was between my brother's rooms. He hasn't said anything to me after my talk with Sam. I started to worry; he didn't like me anymore. Finally, he put me on the bed, "good night." I nodded at that but didn't reply to him. My emotions were all over the place. I turned my back to him and closed my eyes. I felt tears again, but I held them at bay. After I heard him leave, I let a few tears fall.

I woke up in the middle of the night; the nightmares were back. I turned on the nightlight. I sat up and went to the bathroom. I was in there for over ten minutes, staring in the mirror. When I went back to bed, I heard a quiet knock on my door. I whispered to come in. Dylan opened the door, "I heard you walking around. What's wrong?"

I looked at him; then I remembered my promise, "a nightmare." "Do you want me to stay here to watch over you while you sleep?" I tilted my head, "you don't have to. I can manage." He frowned, "I know, I don't have to, but I want to." "It's alright. I don't think I would sleep more anyways. You should go." I didn't look at him anymore. "Macky, why are you pushing me away?" I hung my head low to hide my tears. "You deserve someone better. I can't take that away from you." "What? You are the best I have ever met." 

I shake my head, "no, I am not. My family broke me years ago, and you can't fix me." "You are not broken. You are one of the strongest people I know. I want to be close to you, even if you don't want to be more than friends for now. I will wait for you, but I want to get to know you in the meantime. Please, let me be close to you. Don't push me away." "I thought you didn't like me anymore." "Why would you think that?" "You didn't say anything after that talk downstairs." "I was barely holding on to my sanity. I wanted to go and kill that bitch, but I need to be close to you to make me calm." "Are you sure? You aren't disappointed in me?" "No, I am not. However, I need you to promise you won't do something like that again. Promise you will come to me if you can't sleep. I will help you in any way I can." He was sitting next to me, "I promise, I won't do anything that stupid again."

He hugged me tightly, "try to sleep some more. I will be here; you are safe." I smiled and closed my eyes. Soon I drifted to dreamland.