Friendship Material. (𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒕𝒔)

1. Flashback: The perfect trio.

How... How could I fall in love with someone who saw me as their little sister? When we're alone, I'm not so much of a little sister, aren't I? There's no way... I'm not jealous, am I? Come on, it can't hurt. no. It's not supposed to, isn't it? I'm struggling with my feelings for him, who I have fallen in love with, but he sees me as his little sister. When we're alone, I feel like he sees me differently. It's impossible for us to be just friends, and I'm starting to feel jealous. I feel like I'm about to burst, With the urge to..

1 week earlier ----

Coincidentally Since he moved close, this is my first time visiting Brody's house —if you don't know what I'm talking about, basically, Brody is my friend. Well, Kayden and I are much better friends anyway...

Permit me to elaborate.

two years ago, My best friend Ally had developed well, a little crush on this one guy named Brody.

* * * * 
I have two of my most precious best friends. Ally and Mel, We grew up together. Basically sisters, Platonic soul mates even. I and Mel met through our mothers, who were good friends. I was 2, and Mel was 3. I don't remember much from my childhood from her because it was a blur. we were basically infants for all I know. Me and Mel went to the same school, Went on the same bus and there. We met Ally. In the 1st grade, I was the youngest of the three and Ally was the oldest. We have a three-year age gap. There wasn't exactly an instant connection between us three. I can reminisce the times I cried from Ally picking on me and Mel, Threatening for us to give her and her brother Alex our lunch.

Long story short, My mother came over to Ally's house, To have a little chat with her mother. As a weeping little Laiza hung around her mother's arms as I got dagger eyes from Ally and Alex. We later found out we were of the same religion, and soon after. We started going to church together. The three of us and our parents got along as well. Our parents have always, and I mean always, been soul-devoted Christians. God always came first. Churches every week, As well as praying before even doing anything. So then there it was. Laiza, Mel, and Ally. the perfect trio.

Even though we were close, we weren't of age yet to know and describe each other's personalities. From six to nine to thirteen years old. Thirteen was when we realized how much of a good friendship we were. And I started to know whose role was being played.

Mel, who really goes by Melanie, is sometimes mellow when I and Ally are in a bubbly mood, cuddling and such. Mel was a shy girl. She was awfully beautiful as well. She had shoulder-length, silky black hair. flawless skin, no acne, no rashes, She just glows. Mel had big eyes, hazel pupils, and small pink lips but her smile always adds such a big impact on her so-already-perfect face although, I do love teasing her about her height. Despite her being older, I was somehow always taller. When she was 13, I think she fell by a good 4'6. Lots of boys fell at her feet but she was always humble about it, she became friends with them instead, you'd think it would be as if she'd snap and she'd have a boyfriend. but it was a tad bit complicated on her side. that's a story for another time.

But it wasn't always about the looks that made me admire her. Ever since we were little, She was the bright one. She's so smart and so witty, and I'm so proud of her for it. Adding to the list of perfectness on my best friend, She's such an angel. She's polite, She was never a bad influence, I think I had that role. Mel was honestly perfect.

though, I admit there were times I was envious of her. Not in a bad way, no.. never. Not because she was perfect. I was proud of her, but my mother always compared me to her. "Melanie is so smart, maybe try to be like her." Melanie is so polite." Try to be more like her. Melanie has manners, you don't. Melanie's skin is perfect. Why can't yours?"

I was a child for fucks sake. That's exactly why I wasn't jealous, I was proud enough that Mel was one of my bestest friends and no one could ruin that. And about my skin. The root of all my insecurities. I was born with atopic dermatitis, eczema, or allergies in a way. My skin rashes easily, The heat Makes me have panic attacks where I'd scream for help. Because I'd scratch myself till I bled. It was like that since I was an infant. my first words were literally "ouch," and my parents had to wrap my hands with a bandage before I went to sleep, but there was no hope. They wake up to find all the bandages gone. and me bleeding everywhere. Now that I'm older, it still happens frequently, and there's no cure exactly. Now I just have dry skin with a few cuts, and that already, makes me feel worthless.

But! back to what I was saying, I'm glad Me and Mel are friends because, not only is she as she is but she's humble, she's there for me, never to brag about herself. her successes in school. Not because I wasn't, But because that's just how she is.

Next up is dear Ally, Ally is as well so much to admire. Ally isn't like the normal friend you'd usually have. she's like my older sister, Or a second motherly figure as well. Not only does she befriend two little girls, but she cares for them as well. She's very smart. Very determined. And she's the coziest friend I've had. Through the years, I could talk to her. We were more open. We had these things called "open-ups" where we'd talk about what we were feeling, about anything, anyone. if we were hurt. happy. sad. or on the verge of... breaking down. It's like group therapy. It started with only me, Mel, and Ally, but soon Alex and my brother Clark joined. it always somehow ended up in tears. not because we were sad. But because we knew we were all there for each other. and without these " open-ups," I wouldn't have known the meaning of talking about my feelings.

That's why I love Ally so much. She has a different mindset. She's strong. She has a different viewpoint of the World. Maybe, even the universe. (We have an interest in astronomy now) though sometimes she would be a bit scary.) not going to lie. when she disagreed about some things that don't align with our beliefs. Well, honestly, hehe I don't blame her. I've always been cheeky and I did most things as a pre-teen. She could confront us and lecture us. If what we did was wrong, she would correct us. And I loved her for that. She was always unfiltered. That's one of her best traits, both as our best friend, moreover as a person. Ally was always in our comfort zone. She was there for us, and we were there for her. Now now, despite all her loveliness and fierce personality, have I told you about how fucking pretty and talented that girl is?! Ally used to have long hair, but she cut it herself, and now she has it a little bit shorter than shoulder length. She has three piercings on each ear, and by the way, she did them herself. And it turned out flawlessly. She has plump lips and brown eyes that always shine in the sun. I admit that she has acne, but that's not a bad thing. I've been with her on her journey to take care of her skin. and it's getting better! I'm proud of that. She has a passion for singing, She has a YouTube channel, and gosh. she's angelic.

I love them both so much. and here goes me.

As I speak the truth, I have no idea how others perceive me. Perhaps they see me as an annoyance, a spoiled brat, or a dreadful girl. However, from my point of view, I am caring, loving, and trusting. I may even give too much of myself to others. Unfortunately, I've had my fair share of heartbreaks, leaving me feeling lost and insecure. I am that girl, the crazy one who always tries to bring laughter to everyone's lives. Yet, deep down, I'm a wild and insecure girl who longs for love and affection. I feel like a soul wandering aimlessly, trying to find love in a broken mirror. Picking each and every shattered piece, trying to bond back the pieces I lost. I crave someone to hold me, to cherish me, to touch me, to be my person. Even so, I've always been a lover girl. I want someone to love me. I want someone to hold me. I want my person. I believe I have a theory, Where the reason I love, it so much. Is because I never saw it at home. Never once, Have I seen my parents kiss.. hug? The house I grew up in never showed affection. My Father, seventeen years with my mother, never has he shed a single tear for her. Not once, Had I seen them love each other. They think that working together works. Sure, They're my parents. But deep down, I see nothing but business between the both of them. Business - Partners, Who I guess had me. Then had my brother. And now for God's sake, and now I feel dragged into their business. I crave love, and I became obsessed with it. I became obsessed. Not particularly in a negative way. But I needed it. I yearned for it, I was desperate.

As I reflect on my place as the youngest, I realize that it's more than just a label. It's about bringing joy, laughter, and comfort to those around me. Even though I can be stubborn and a bad influence at times, I truly care deeply for the people in my life. They are not just acquaintances or passing faces, but individuals who have a special place in my heart. I am grateful for the moments we share, and I hope to continue being a source of happiness and support for them.

I sighed at my written work. Then cracked a smile. 
I really do love them you know? I meant everything I said.

I love making friends, I really do. But I'm not very cut out for the job. I'm socially awkward, or just plain awkward actually. 

but sometimes having friends turn out to be more complicated than I thought.