Friendship Material. (𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒕𝒔)

7. Pendulum thoughts

A/N: yall this is just Laizas pov on what shes trying to feel about Kayden. This girl is really so indecisive. smh. wonder who would evennn but yeah, this chapter is really short. Be ready for the nxt one though.. .

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 I can't deny it anymore. I think I might like Kayden. But what if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I tell him and it ruins our friendship? I don't want to lose him. But what if we could be more than just friends?

I keep going back and forth in my mind, like a pendulum swinging. It's driving me crazy. I just want to know what he feels. But I'm too scared to ask.

I'm overthinking everything. Staring at the ceiling, music playing in the background. Trying to sort out these mixed feelings that I can't seem to shake. I don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to get hurt either.

But maybe it's worth taking the risk. Maybe it's worth telling him how I feel. Maybe he feels the same way, and we could be something more than just friends. Or maybe not. But I won't know unless I try. on her bed, staring at the ceiling with her headphones on. The music blared in her ears, but she barely registered it. Her mind was in overdrive, as she tried to make sense of the confusing mix of emotions she was feeling. Kayden had a way of making her feel things she had never experienced before, and she couldn't deny the thrill of it. But at the same time, the fear of getting hurt or hurting him weighed heavily on her mind. She turned up the volume, hoping the music would drown out her thoughts and give her some much-needed clarity. 

then she got up again. sighs

I paced back and forth in my room.. again. , trying to sort out my feelings for Kayden. The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. I couldn't deny the way he made me feel, the rush of excitement and joy every time we talked. But I also knew the risks of pursuing anything more than just friendship with him.

What if we end up hurting each other? What if it ruins the great friendship we have right now? These thoughts weighed heavily on my mind as I stared up at the ceiling, music playing in the background.

In the end, I made a decision. It was too dangerous, and there was too much at risk. As much as I wanted to explore these new feelings, I couldn't bring myself to take that leap. So I settled for the next best thing - being friends with benefits. It was a compromise, a way to have some of the excitement without risking everything. tik..tok..tik..tok..
 
I can't deny it anymore, there's something there between us. But I can't let myself get swept away by these feelings. It's just too complicated and risky. What if things go wrong? What if we hurt each other? 't bear the thought of losing him as a friend. I'll just have to push these feelings aside and focus on what's important. We can still be friends with benefits, right? That way, we can satisfy our physical needs without risking our friendship. I just have to remind myself of that every time I feel myself getting too attached.

a/n: i swear laiza make a desicion fr. 

and once again..

 I LIKE HIM OKAY. BUT I WON'T. I WON'T LIKE HIM. EVEN IF THERE'S SOMETHING THERE. DON'T WANT TO RISK IT FOR FUCKS SAKE.

I fall back on my bed. Time against me. Waiting till I fall asleep.