𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐎 | 𝐭. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐭

three

waking home, i was miserable.

the sun was setting and i looked like a homeless woman, looking for a place to sleep.

when i arrived home, before entering my house, i threw up the long twizzler piece around a tree. i put the hole that i made around my neck.

jk.

i wouldn't actually do something like that.

just checking.

i didn't know what to do with myself.

i mean, i just found out that i was pregnant.

i can barely even take care of myself, so how am i supposed to take care of a mini person?

i decided to call somebody that i could always rely on.

saoirse. my best friend.

i picked up my hamburger phone and dialed her number.

"yo-yo-yiggity-yo," i heard on the other side of the line.

i deeply sighed before replying. "im a suicide risk."

"y/n?"

"no, it's morgan freeman. do you have any bones that need collecting?"

saoirse laughed at my sarcasm, and returned the same energy. "only the one in my pants."

i just stayed silent, in slight panic. "im pregnant."

"what? honest to blog?"

"yeah. it's chalamet's"

"it's probably just a good baby, did you have a big lunch."

i rolled my eyes, while sitting down on my bed. "this is not a food baby, ive taken three pregnancy tests and im fo' shiz up the spout."

"how did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? that's amazing!"

i scrunched up my face. is that really what she's curious about? "i don't know, i drank like ten tons of SunnyD. anyways dude, im telling you im pregnant and you're acting shockingly cavalier."

"is this for real? like for real for real?"

"unfortunately, yes."

i didn't hear a response from the other end, until she finally spoke up. "oh my god! oh shit! phuket thailand!"

finally a reaction. "there we go. that was kind of the emotion that i was searching for on the first take."

"so, are you going to Havenbrook or Women Now? cause you know you need a note from your parents for Havenbrook."

"yeah, i know. but no, im going to go to Women Now, just cause they help out women now."

"hey, do you want me to call for you? because i called for becky last year."

she was too sweet sometimes. this is why i love her. "no, i can call myself. oh, but i do need your help with something, it's like critically important."