90 Day Saioumami Challenge

𝟙𝟘 - Pretending to be Happy is Exhausting. ♣️

˜*°•.Chapter Warning.•°*˜

Self-degradation.
Implied eating disorder.
Implied suicide.

˜*°•.˜*°• ⛓ •°*˜.•°*˜

Rantaro stared blankly at the table, vaguely aware of his friends around the table with him. His boyfriends had pulled him out on a double date with their friends Akamatsu and Iruma. Of course, Rantaro couldn't deny going as he'd never miss a chance, but that was all fake. All the male wanted was to go home, curl up in his bed and cry to sleep.

Feeling an object push into his lips, Rantaro yelped and grabbed the wrist holding a hot chip up to his mouth, glaring at the offender. "Don't do that!" Guilt surged through his veins as he stared into Kokichi's violet eyes, everyone staring at him with shocked expressions. Rantaro never raised his voice and everyone always complimented him on how he always seemed calm and never let anything get to him. Little did they know.

"Rantaro?" Kokichi whispered, trying to squirm his wrist free.

Rantaro gasped, letting go and hugging Kokichi tight. "I-I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to, you caught me off guard and-"

"Shut up, you're fine," Kokichi laughed, patting Rantaro's back. "If you don't want chips then just say so!" The purplette giggled as he popped the treat into his mouth. Salt stung Rantaro's cracked lips as he attempted to ignore it, glad for the pain it brought. He didn't enjoy the pain but it was better than being numb.

Rantaro wiped away the tears forming behind his eyes as he continued to stare at the table. I'm a fucking idiot. How could you hurt Kokichi? You're disgusting for it, hurting another person is never okay. Hearing a chime from nearby, Rantaro watched as Shuichi grinned and jumped up from the table, hurrying outside to take the call. Sighing, he returned his gaze to the table, another tear dripping down his cheek.

Before he could wipe it away, Rantaro felt another hand on his cheek. Turning, he noticed Kokichi smiling at him before planting a kiss on his lips. His lips burned as Kokichi unknowingly rubbed the salt deeper into the crevices of his chapped, split skin. "You worry too much. I'm fine, you didn't hurt me, stop crying over spilt milk," Kokichi chuckled.

"Thank you Kokichi, I'm still sorry..." Rantaro took a deep breath before releasing it in one huff.

"If you're not going to stop apologising, then I'll shut you up myself!" Kokichi pouted, grabbing a small box of chicken nuggets. Taking one out, he held it to Rantaro's lips. His stomach begged for sustenance, something he rarely gifted himself the pleasure of having. You don't deserve to eat, it'll only make you gain weight that you don't need. You're fat enough as it is.

Grabbing the snack from between Kokichi's fingers, Rantaro smiled and placed it against the other's lips. "How about I feed you instead?" Kokichi chuckled and bit down on the treat with a cheeky grin.

"You're so nice Amami," Akamatsu complimented with a smile.

"He's amazing, isn't he?!" Kokichi gasped, grinning with pride. "Rantaro's always doing stuff for us, he doesn't let either of us treat him without a fight!" It's because I don't deserve it, why should anyone do something nice for me?

Rantaro planted a false smile on his face as he continued to feed chicken nuggets to Kokichi. During the process, Shuichi returned with an ecstatic grin. "Good news, my uncle's home now! He's excited to meet you Kokichi."

"Let's go!" Kokichi cheered, jumping up and planting a kiss on Rantaro's cheek before leaving the restaurant with Shuichi. Shuichi was going to introduce the other to his childhood caretaker, although the greenette wasn't going as Saihara already knew Rantaro. Rantaro and Shuichi were childhood friends, so the two had grown up around each other's families even before their relationship.