rails // a.i. // book 2

getting hurt

ashton

i walked through the hallway and to my locker before bringing my books to ap chemistry. this was the last science class that i had to take before i graduated and i was more than happy. science had always been my least favorite subject, but my counselor recommended the course so i wouldn't have to worry about it during college. at least i had a smart lab partner.

just before i went into the room, i saw mae walking down the hall and waved her over. "hello, mae." 

"good morning, ashton." she said with a smile. although, something was different about her behavior today. she seemed anxious and a lot more shy.

"what's wrong mae? did something happen?"

she shook her head. "i'm fine ashton. it's just, everyone's staring at me and i don't know why." her head hung low and her voice was soft. i noticed her shirt falling off her shoulders slightly and her shorts revealing bruises and scars. they were in the same place mine are.

"mae, your bruises and scars are showing." i whispered and pulled her sleeve back up.

her face flushed and she tried to pull her shorts lower and pulled her sleeve over her shoulder. "that's so embarrassing. will i see you later?"

"yes, i have to get to class, but i'll see you at lunch okay?" i said placing a kiss on the top of her forehead.

"okay, see you ash." she said quietly and wrapped her arms around my waist. i pulled away from her and walked into the chemistry room. as the first bell rang, i took my seat. just in time.

~

on thursday, i received a call from mae explaining that she wouldn't be able to make it today. i understood, people have other commitments. i was used to it anyway, people don't particularly like being around the boy with bruises and scars on his body. whether or not he was the best player on the soccer team. it just wasn't the 'norm' for guys. guys are supposed to be tough, stick up for themselves, and not have feelings.

but when you live a home where you walk around like a ghost, you can't stick up for yourself without living in fear of breaking an eggshell.

it's like every time you wake up, you get dressed, and walk down the stairs and into the kitchen for your mornings greeting. which really isn't even a greeting, it's more like a belt to the ass and being numb for the next eight hours. so as you sit in class, you sit on one ass cheek and then on the next and switch back and forth. it's painful.

some days, it wasn't a physical greeting, but an emotional one and those hurt more if you ask me.

i continued on with my journey down the sidewalks, past the auto shop, through the gardens, and eventually ended up right where i was supposed to be: the bridge. 

i stood there for an hour and a half before realizing that i really had no point in being here today. it wasn't the same without mae for some reason. it was like she and i had this connection that no one could break because our lives were nearly the same.

our families were just as broken as our own persons were. by looking at mae from a distance, you couldn't tell that her eyes are tired, her shoulders slouch with sadness, and her heart hurts. the heart is more abstract, but once you talk to her you can tell. it's something about the way that she speaks; her quiet voice and the way she avoids eye contact. perhaps the reason why i am so infatuated with mae is because both of us are broken.

my phone buzzed in my pocket and i held it up to see that mae was calling me. "hello?"

"hi, is this ashton?" a woman on the other line asked.