'Flowers before Eve' is the prequel to 'My Killer'. It's completely optional, but please consider reading that book before delving into this one.
Michael, to better understand the either the monster or the man perhaps the appropriate place to start...
Do not proceed beyond this point if you do find yourself in a not-so-good headspace. It is not advised.
And if you do find yourself seemingly trapped in that rather dark space, please seek help, 'kay? Because you do deserve to not only be listened to but to feel at peace within yourself.
Your story, as precious as it is, has barely even begun;
- Ann
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Hannah...
Aaron could have written a whole thesis on his past lover; and still, none of the signs she had previously presented could have prepared him for what he had come to discover at the other side of her sealed door on that detrimental day, ruin.
Despite the evidence piling up Aaron had failed to recognize what hindsight had managed to mature into something so obnoxiously obvious. As reason would have it, only time combined with proper distance could ever have hoped to afford him with such devastating clarity.
And it did.
Painstakingly-obtained clarity was what Aaron had paid for with bits and pieces of his own sanity. Because the crumbled revelations that had continued to trickle into his own mind over the span of the initial two-and-a-half out of the five years that had passed since that vile day when Hannah had taken her own life were far from free nor even remotely welcome. The knowledge acquired had come at a cost.
At a great cost.
The payment due had, in many ways, been too steep by any meager accounts, yet Aaron had found that he couldn't help himself. He had to know the why of it all. Why did Hannah do it?
Why?
Back then, after the initial shock of her senseless act had dwindled away, Aaron hadn't been able to find it within himself to stop the incessant fixation that he had suddenly gained with, what at that point in time had been, their recent past. He had felt robbed of any other option but that which consisted of uncovering the underlying factors behind Hannah's seemingly incongruous choice. Because, in light of the knowledge that Aaron had possessed at that moment in time, what Hannah had ended up doing on that day hadn't made any sense to him.
It hadn't.
So this hadn't been a case of the stubborn man in question refusing to give allowance for the past to remain as such, the past. No, despite outward appearances his own actions and the relentless truth-seeking thoughts that had incurred upon his person had been outside of his own immediate control. He hadn't been able to rein himself in. Or at least, that's what it had felt like to Aaron. That he had no choice, that he had been robbed of such a basic right, choice. Aaron, he just had to unravel the unexplainable, he just had to uncover the underlying factors to the simple and yet, at the same time, extremely complicated question that had continued to plague his mind in the most relentless manner; why?
