Surrendering Completely

Incertitude and Overcoming

Circa. October 1995

**

Naina's POV

Our bed is full of clothes. Scattered everywhere.

My clothes. Suits, sarees, dresses, frocks, skirts; there is practically every type of clothes here, giving me a feeling that I had almost opened my personal clothing store here apart from ones in our boutique. I was a girl who hardly had mostly 8-10 clothes to wear for outside purposes, some 2-3 casual frocks to wear at home and only 2 night suits. And looking at the variety of the colors and fabrics and styles of all my costumes, I can vouch that Sameer has transformed me into a Fashion Icon, if not less. Woww!! Look at the number of outfits here. I can't even say 'I don't have anything to wear'.

A big suitcase is lying open in the center of the bed and my colorful dresses are spreaded all over; some folded in the suitcase, some randomly thrown on the bedsheet after taken out from their respective hangers while some in the middle of the process of getting folded, waiting to be there in the bag with their fellow mates, but tangled in our hands. We are in the middle of a discussion, which was initially supposed to be just a tease game, but now I'm dumbfounded, short of words and caught off guard.

Swati's question has put me in the situation where even this Mrs. Naina Sameer Maheshwari doesn't have any answer. I diss her saying she should just focus on folding the clothes, but her another sharp comment makes me speechless again.

"Naina, tu na shukar mana le ki tujhe itna pyaara husband mila hai Sameer jaisa... Agar koi aur hota na, toh tujhe samajh me aata..." Swati berates me while folding my nightie.

Yes, the Pink Nighty... Satin Ki... lace wali...

I still can't believe Sameer had purchased that nightie for me from a ladies shop. It was probably the worst timing of my life to turn at the very moment and see him pulling the string of a nightie on that mannequin, expressing with the act that how he's so willing to do the same when his wife would wear one, when I would wear one.

I still laugh at the fact that that nightie which Sameer bought supposedly as a gift for me, was never practically gifted to me. I learnt that Sameer had carried it with us on our honeymoon, only when he showed it to me in an intoxicated state. Of course, nothing happened to that nightie or should I say with that nightie after that and it travelled with us without even being put to use even for once. Since then, that nightie had just taken a corner in my wardrobe, without even asking me 'why am I not getting used?', and now ready to take another corner in my suitcase, that too just because I was packing all my clothes, just because we were shifting to Bombay. I actually feel bad for that nightie for a moment.

Don't lie Naina... I am feeling bad for Sameer who never uttered about the nightie, once we were back...!!!!

I don't know what suddenly takes over me, but I snatch the nightie from Swati's hands and tell her to fold other dresses. She gives me an astonishing look, followed by a smirk and then a blush.

Why does she have to make it so obvious?

We then pack most of my dresses in the suitcase, still keeping some for the upcoming days. I keep the packed suitcase at the corner of the room, sighing, finally one task is done!!

Kanji Bhaiya brings tea for the two of us in the bedroom itself and we enjoy the evening tea while talking about life in Bombay. I deliberately avoid speaking about the nightie or Swati's question that if nothing has happened between us, Sameer and me, till now. I know she knows it. She's my best friend, she can easily figure out how I'm trying to dodge the subject but failing miserably in it. But I'm glad that she doesn't push much on it.