Akogare(Longing)[[KakaNaru]]

Chapter 14-Shattering Heart

3 Months Later

"It has been brought to my attention that I have not been fair to the two of you. I apologize for my indiscretion." When he had grown older and wiser, he had always been one of patience and understanding, one that followed orders to protect that which was dear to him. But this? This was like someone was spitting upon his face after he so kindly asked for a glass of water on a scorching day. He feels betrayed by the hokage's actions, and cannot express how angry he feels properly even though he had no evidence of what he was assuming, at least not until she blatantly admit it. After giving her a report from a mission, she had asked for him and Naruto to stay behind for them to speak. He of course nod his head and finished his report with the others, waiting quietly with the genin as they left afterwards. 

The room was silent for some time before she finally spoke and began a speech of how they needed to remember to not let their own personal feelings drag down the team. She then claimed that their closeness, while a positive thing in some aspects, could be something to cause them grief if they aren't careful due to the Akatsuki moving about as they please. So, they needed to adhere to some space and remember to not get caught up to where they won't be alert to attacks. She also admit that for over a three months she had invaded his privacy, his personal space that was once promised to be left alone, and watched what he said and did with Naruto. What angered him more was the way she said these things in front of Naruto, knowing full well that his own loyalty to the village would still his tongue, especially with Naruto being present. And now he feels like he is being avoided entirely. Naruto won't even look at him. Is this his answer to Kakashi's feelings? He thought that after he told Naruto about his parents slowly, helped him learn about what kind of people they were, that after they talked more about Bijuu, about how he felt guilty for not being there for him...that they were getting somewhere. Naruto seemed even more glued to Kakashi, asking him more and more questions about his father and mother.

But here they are, separated again. With the Naruto sticking to the other two of the team the entire day, Kakashi had time to think and found himself mostly recalling of when he first heard of Naruto. His sensei was dear to him, the last living member of his team other than himself. He tried his hardest to latch and hold tightly onto the last shred of hope he had, but it proved to be pointless in the end. Minato died, and Kakashi was alone in the darkness once more with nothing but his self-hatred and regret. He had eventually come to live with the conclusion that being alive was his true punishment for what he had done, he believed that dying would be too merciful for him. All was lost and the world just became a dark and cold place that he would never escape from, that is, until a small golden light pierced the darkness and guided him to his new purpose. A child, the only child of his former sensei was found where his sensei and Minato's beloved lie dead, their bodies nothing but empty husks.

Naruto Uzumaki had been the given name and Kakashi was informed through a bit of snooping, that the third hokage himself decided that no others could know of his connection to Minato. Out of his insatiable curiosity, he watched the child grow and fall into a life of loneliness and pain. More and more, Naruto became shunned by others and treated poorly for a reason, he knew at the time, the child didn't understand. Kakashi himself was not even aware of why others hated such an innocent kid until he later discovered why. 

As the child became older, his personality took on a life of its own and somehow brightened everything around him, although it was often forcefully dimmed by the ridicule of others. Soon, his habit of watching the boy every day for a few hours was cut shorter and shorter until he no longer had the time between missions, and had forgotten about Naruto. He can still feel the regret aching in his chest from his guilt of never helping him, of never wiping his tears away when the others cast him aside and said hurtful things. He will never forget his guilt from just watching them beat back the child's bright glow with their dark words. Even though Naruto had forgiven him and thanked him for looking after him, even then. It was because of Kakashi not interfering, that Naruto  felt like he was able to become who is is today. He used that pain as fuel to become someone no one could ignore.