One-shots about Depression and Mental Illness

OVERWORKED

I sit there, staring at an empty screen. My homework due in two hours, yet none of it even started. Why is it so hard? 

Everyone else does it just fine. Everyone else can do it. Can sit there writing, reading, learning, for hours to no end. 

So why is it so hard? Why is it so stressful? I'm staring at the screen, fully aware of what I should be doing, fully aware that time is running out, but my mind refuses to do the work. Refuses to focus, to think of anything but the colorful images dancing around in my headspace. 

I'm often told, "Work harder", "Focus", and "Pay attention", but do people not understand that no matter how hard I try to do just that, I always fail? I suppose not, though it's not like I ever expected them to understand. How could I?

For all I know, they are nothing more than mindless fools entertaining themselves with shit I never gave a damn about. I always call them stupid, dumb, and claim that they're hopeless, yet, now that I'm rethinking those opinions, I realize, that I may be the hopeless one. 

They do their homework. They study for tests. They socialize. Yet I don't. Maybe calling them hopeless makes me feel better about myself, but one could never know. 

It's not like I don't want to do my work though. I just can't. I don't know why! The only time I ever do it is in the very last few moments I have. No sooner than that. It's not important enough. But it is. That sentence has never changed a thing though, and it never will.

Maybe I'm imagining all this, and there is truly no problem with me. Maybe everyone feels like this, and I'm just the one overexaggerating. The homework really isn't that hard though, and it doesn't take much time once I start. 

The problem is starting the homework itself. I don't have the commitment for that. Or maybe I do, but I never use it. But as hard as I try, this feeling never goes away. And it never will, because at the end of the day, all I feel is the feeling of being OVERWORKED.