Over the years, the realization that he messed up had eaten him alive. He knew he let something go that he should've worshipped and held close. He wasn't dense, it was the biggest mistake of his life. It's funny, if he had the chance to turn back time to before he fell in love with another woman, he would've taken it in a heartbeat but he knew he didn't deserve that. She deserved better than what he could ever give her. There's this saying "you never truly know what you have until it's gone." He now knows exactly what it meant.
He broke up with the woman he cheated with, albeit to her dismay. She reminded him all the loving nothings he would whisper in her ear and the promises of the world. The same things he promised and whispered to his wife. He told her that he didn't deserve to be happy. She needed someone better than him. He also understood that he never truly loved her. It was all just a facade, a game for him to "find himself" even though he had been found by his wife a long time ago. His relationship with that woman had just been a trend...a passing thought. A distraction, if you will. He thought it was love but it was just him chasing the ghost of a person that didn't even exist.
He called her a lot of times. Left messages, texts, emails. Everything. After the first year, it became apparent she was never coming back. He thought if he grovelled long enough he could put this nightmare behind him but he continued to live it. Forever. She never came back. He scolded himself for his endless wishful thinking. He never appreciated her when she was with him so what made him think he was allowed to do that now?
He'll never admit it but he was able to track her down. The black circles underneath her eyes have disappeared. Her hair was more shinier. Her cheeks more round. She radiated with happiness. She also met someone new. They were expecting. Again, something he wasn't able to give her. His heart ached that she finally got her happy ending but it wasn't him. He drove off the day he found her, after watching her like a pathetic loser. As he drove of, he wished he could look in the rear view mirror one last time...but he didn't.
He let her go.
