FATAL DAYS

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In penury, the advances lift me up
and sink me.
I am miserable when I receive handouts
to get from home to work
I can feel in the skin of L M
with the fear that food and medicine will lack,
that the transportation crisis will never improve, doomed to be
(in any scene)
a motionless pilgrim forever.
I must call out to Lezama, besiege him,
to ask for the opportunities he rejected
to resurface in my path,
without a resume, without caring about the days
that tear away the safety
and endow me with hallucinations.
I only see the insistent restraint
that I cannot mention.

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