Chapter 5: Memories

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⚠️Possible PTSD Trigger Warning⚠️

*Y/N's POV*

SMASH!

My phone plummeted to the cement side walk as I stood there frozen in fear, my hand still hovering next to my ear.

"Y-Yuki?" I stammered.

Oh my god...

I haven't seen him since that dreaded day. The petrifying moment that's been engraved in my brain. I've spent years trying to bury it. Shoveling piles after piles of fonder memories over the top, desperate to forget it ever happened. But unfortunately, trauma doesn't work that way. I can bury it all I want, but it only takes one small trigger for it all to come rushing back, crashing into me like a tsunami wave as the memories resurface.

I peered into his cold gray eyes. A devilish smirk crept across his face.

My legs grew weak. My eyes began glossed over.

"It's been a while," he spoke in a low gravely voice, "Y/n."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. But it was like my feet were glued to the ground and an invisible hand was slapped over my mouth preventing me to move or make a sound.

I could do nothing more than stand there paralyzed with fear.

He bent forward so that our faces were only inches apart. His eyes wandered, studying my face and briefly examining me up and down. "You look good, darling."

I opened my mouth to speak, but promptly kept it shut as not a sound came out.

"Aww, are we feeling a little shy?" he let out a low malicious laugh.

I could feel my anger and frustration building up. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. I wanted to put him in his place. Let him know how bad he hurt me. Make him feel the pain that I've felt.

... but I couldn't.

His fingers brushed my cheek as he delicately placed a finger under my chin to ensure I was paying attention. "Don't worry. We don't have to chat now. But I'll be back later," he said with a mischievous grin.

He stood back to an upright position and brushed past me without a second glance back.

What the hell.

I finally felt my legs give out. I sunk to the ground. My limbs slumped like jello.

"Y/N?!" I heard a faint voice call for me somewhere in the distance.

I wanted to respond. But I still couldn't shift my focus or acknowledge the sound. My eyes just continued to stay fixated on the ground in front of me as I sat there like a puddle.

My thoughts spiraling around my head, leaving no room to allow myself to react to my surroundings.

"Y/N. Can you hear me?"

The voice was now in front of me.

I took all my strength and last bit of willpower to pry my eyes from the ground and search for the familiar voice.

As I looked up, my ocean blue eyes were met with those of the brown eyed boy crouched down in front of me.

*Noya's POV*

I fumbled to get my shoes on and rushed out the door, nearly tripping over my poorly tied shoe laces.

I have to find her.

If Yuki is involved... even if he doesn't touch her... who knows just how seeing him could affect her.

As I started to run down the street, I realized I didn't have a damn clue as to where she is.

Thank god for snap maps.
And BINGO her location is still on.

As I drew closer to the marked location, I could just barely make out the silhouette of two people up ahead. One tall. One short.

My heart beat quickened. Is she with Yuki?!
My walking pace picked up into a brisk jog.

But as I grew nearer to the figures, my breathing calmed and my panic reverted back to its relaxed state.

It was Y/N and Oikawa.
I was relieved.

"Y/N! Oikawa!" I called out to them as I jogged over.

As I approached the two, I could see I was already too late. Y/N was trembling. Her face paled and eyes glossed over.

"Oh, Nishinoya. Hey," Oikawa began. "D- Do you know what's going on? She won't t-talk to me."

I nodded my head silently.

"Alright... lets get her home then and you can get me updated," Oikawa replied.

"Actually, can we bring her back to my place? I think it'd be best if I can keep her company for now. I'll let her brother know she's spending the night," I said.

I glanced over at Y/N again, heavily clutching to Oikawa's arm for support. Her eyes finally pried from the ground, she looked up at me. "Hey, we're gonna take good care of you, okay?" I asked, intently waiting for a verbal response. Instead, I just got a silent nod of approval. At least she's being responsive.

*Later that Night*

We've been home for hours and she hasn't spoken a word. I was able to hold her hand and guide her into the living room, but she's incapable of making any decisions for herself. She mostly just stares off into space, until I speak to her, then she's to be able to look at me and acknowledge what I say. Honestly, it's frightening to watch though...

Finally for the first time, she got up from the couch at her own will.

"Hey, baby where you going?" I asked in the calmest, sweetest tone I possibly could, wanting to be as gentle as possible to make her feel comfortable.

Again, no response. Instead, she shifted her gaze to look towards my room and then back at me.

"Bedtime?" I questioned. In response I got a silent nod once again.

"Can I come join you later?" Dear god I hope she says yes. I'm afraid to leave her alone.

All I received was yet again another single nod in response. Well, at least I'm getting answers.

After showering and getting ready for bed, I headed over to my room. She was already knocked out cold, deep in sleep. Argh, she looks so cute when she sleeps.

I climbed into bed next to her and pulled her close to me, not wanting to let go. Just wanting to keep her safe and protected in my arms.

It wasn't long after I began to drift off that I felt Y/N begin to toss and turn. Her ever so slight whines grew into louder whimpers.

I immediately sat up and leaned over her, shaking her lightly. "Hey hey, Y/N are you okay? I'm here."

But the whimpers only grew louder.

I shook her a little more roughly this time. "Hey."

She rolled over to face me and her eyes shot open. Nothing but pure terror flooded her eyes. Her breathing intensified.

"Hey hey, I'm here. I'm here." I peered down at her, gently brushing my fingers through her hair as her breathing slowed and her eyes returning to normal. She inched forward to sling her arm over my body clutching onto me tightly, still ever so slightly shaking.

"Yuu, I'm so sorry. Thank you," she spoke barely above a whisper.

"No no don't apologize baby. You did nothing wrong." I will hold her for as long as she needs. She doesn't deserve this pain.

Even if she tried to let the memories fade.
Trauma doesn't forget.
———

*A/N: Sorry the chapters have been like super intense.

I'm gonna try to sneak in a few cute little chapters I think before going back to my original storyline.

Y'all need a break from the depresso expresso.

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⏰ Last updated: May 10, 2022 ⏰

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