House Ghost ONC 2022 LONGLISTER

Chapter 11: The Ghost

POV: Grey

I remember.

It all comes back to me now. Every word Justin says brings back another memory, uncovering an enormous display that's been hidden in my mind for so long. The crash, my love of colors, my name...

We're both comfortably settled in the dark room. Justin's perched on his computer chair and I'm huddled on the bed with my throw around my arms. The phone light is propped up on his table in a way that works for both of us. He's paused awkwardly a few times in his narration, coughing and clearing this throat. I know he's trying not to cry like I am.

"...and yeah. That's about all there is to tell." He glances at me for a second. "And you're saying you've been hiding up in the attic ever since?"

I nod slowly. "Pretty much. I wandered the wildnerness for a little time, but I couldn't stay out there like most ghosts can. When I came into the attic, it just felt right. Plus, you were the only human in the place, so I could be undisturbed."

Justin shakes his head. "I feel like such a jerk now; that attic was a tiny space, and a mess. Shoved in there for months..."

"I mean, 'Grey' me might have hated you for being in her space and making her feel scared and confused, but now I get that there's no way you could have known any of that. I should have tried talking to you first. And I shouldn't have messed with your things."

"You always did want to redecorate my room," Justin laughs; there's pain in the sound.

"But that must have been why I felt I belonged here: even though I lost all my memories, I still had an instinctive connection to this place. It was the last place I had been when I was alive."

"Well, you had lived here since sophomore year, so about two years."

"What about the throw?" I wrap it around myself more tightly. "Did it have any special meaning when I was alive?"

"Funny enough, it did and it didn't. I'd bought it a few months before the accident but you didn't know about it. I was going to give it to you for graduation, but, well, that never happened, so I just kept it."

"What happened at graduation? It was only a couple months away."

"I don't know."

"What do you mean? You didn't attend?"

He hesitates, "I dropped out a few weeks after. Couldn't keep up with the exams, and seeing all your friends just... I couldn't." he shakes his head.

"What about that assignment?" I scooch forward until my feet can hang off the bed. "The one I interrrupted that night, after all that, did you submit it in time?"

"Nah. I kind of had a lot of other things going on. I think I had three thousand words left before the deadline came and went."

My heart is heavy like lead. I kept him from finishing college. Of course it's not like I planned to, but it still happened. He looks so much older than he did a year ago. How much has happened to him since I died?

"I'm sorry about the lights," I mumble. "I think I broke one of the breakers upstairs. That must have been really scary for you. And for shutting your hand in the drawer, I really didn't mean to do that.'"

"It's cool, don't worry about it. For what it's worth, I probably wouldn't have believed it was you unless I'd been haunted for five days straight. And I kind of deserved it."

"Justin, no. I was being petty--"

"No, I did. It's my fault you died, Kaylee," he interrupts, his voice thick with tears , "If I hadn't made us swap places-- If I had swerved out of the way in time--"

His self-control breaks, and he can't speak. My eyes water as I watch him weep. I want to beg him to stop but I know he needs this; we both do. Neither of us deserved to go through what happened, but the world expected him to get up and move on. His shoulders shake violently, he's crying so hard that he doesn't have the air to sob.

"Justin," I whisper. "Hey, look at me."

He shakes his bowed head, and buries his face in his hands.

"I don't hate you, Justin. You didn't try to kill me, or drive around super recklessly. It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known what was going to happen."

"No, I could have done more, Kaylee. You should have been able to graduate--"

"Hey, listen to me! The last thing I would have wanted is for you to be crushed by my death, okay?" He looks at me unsteadily, and I put my hand on his arm. "I was the one the universe chose to become a ghost. Don't let me take away your life too, please." My voice cracks and I sob. "You don't deserve to carry this alone. It hurts me seeing you suffer like this."

Silence. He doesn't answer, but he also isn't crying anymore.

"God, I've really missed you, Kaylee," he says at last.

A smile spreads across my face. "I think I missed you too, dorkus."

The flashlight shuts off. We wait in the darkness for a few seconds, then Justin reaches over for the phone.

"Oh. Battery's dead."

"What do we do now?"

"I don't know."

Justin stands up from the chair awkwardly. I float forward a little closer, hesitating.

He pulls me into a hug.

It's the first time I've felt anyone's touch in a whole year. I smile into his shoulder, tears soaking his shirt.

"I guess we should fix the lights," I mumble, "before anything else."

"We should fix the fridge first," he answers.

"What do you mean?"

"So we can have some chocolate milk."

A warmth unfolds in my chest, like a comforting candle flame.

"I'd like that."

There, in the pitch black, embracing the once-scary human, I begin to think that maybe, just maybe, my future is starting to look bright.

And for the first time in my ghostly life, bright is good.

The end

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