tis' the damn season ── KIT CONNOR

chapter four.

chapter four
𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞

∙∙∙∙∙

𝐥𝐨𝐮

"Would you kiss me?" Lou's eyes were glued to the TV screen. She had made the grave mistake of beginning Heartstopper. Lou liked to tell herself that it was Kit's fault she started watching it. That if he didn't come home, or look so good at the party last night, or have his face plastered over every social media platform known to man; she wouldn't have watched it. She will swear it up and down to anyone who asked.

Kit always got the better of her. 

He looked so good on screen, it's where he was meant to be. Lou knew that, no matter how painful it was to say goodbye over and over again. He deserved the spotlight, the praise. Lou knew that as well. Even though he had to leave, he always came back.

Kit came back this time and she barely gave him a welcome home. Lou's heart freshly cracked by him. He came back though, he came to see her and she wish she could pretend she didn't see him staring last night. Before she knew what she was doing, Lou turned the TV off and pulled her shoes on. 

Three knocks on the familiar door and she was met with Kit's face. "Lou! What're you doing here?"

"I-" She sighed, closing her eyes and opening them again with a breath, "I was wondering if you would like to hang out? Go into town maybe"

Kit looked shocked. He thought about her abrupt hello when he first came home, her not speaking to him last night, he thought of her looking at him. But he could always look past the faults, the mistakes, because it was her. 

"I would love too," Kit couldn't stop a smile from gracing his face, "Did you want to come in?" Lou could hardly believe that this is what it had come to, him asking her to come in as if they barely knew each other. Lou remembered when she would walk in as if it were her house too, waving to his parents on her way up to Kit's bedroom.

"Yeah sure," 

The house hadn't changed, a picture of Lou and Kit aged 13 still on the mantle. She noticed no changes in his bedroom, the same room they grew up in together. The ache she felt in her chest walking into his room again, she wondered if Kit felt it too. 

The ride to town was pretty quiet, unfamiliar small talk between Kit and Lou only seemed to cause more distance. There's only so many times one can talk about today's weather. Lou hoped that the town square missed her and Kit. She missed it, missed Kit. 

"I saw your show," She walked with her hands intertwined in front of her. 

"Oh really?!" His face lit up, "What did you think?"

"I love it," She complimented him, a soft smile on her lips, "You're amazing Kit, your best work-" She nodded, hoping Kit knew she meant it- "I haven't finished it yet, but I am very very impressed"

"I was hoping you would be," He smiled, "I wasn't sure if you would watch it or not,"

"I'll always watch anything you're in," She scoffed, "Do you mind if we-"

"Sit?" He cut her off, "Here, here-" Kit quickly helped Lou move to a bench nearby, he sat her down, "Are you alright?" He stood up in front of her. Lou wouldn't be surprised if Kit started taking her temperature with a reaction like this.

"Kit," She grabbed both of his hands in hers, "I'm fine," 

Conversation slowly began to feel normal, like Kit had never left her. She missed the way he shook his head when he laughed, his quick whit still unmatchable. She missed everything about him.

"So, I saw you with that guy last night," Lou knew this was inevitable, "Who is he?"

"His name is Alfie, he lives next door to me," 

"I live next door to you too," Kit scoffed, "Doesn't make him special, join the club mate," 

Lou shook her head with a smile, "Jealous are we?"

"Oh, completely," Kit nodded, "I leave for a year and a half and come home to some guy with hanging out with my Lou,"

"Your Lou?" A smirk appeared on her face, "Interesting.."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just that I thought you wouldn't leave your Lou, and then barely speak to her when you were away," There it was. Lou couldn't stop herself, regret filling her chest in an instant. "Sorry, I-"

"You're right," Kit nodded, "I was selfish,"

"You were working-"

"Working and selfish," Their eyes met, "And it wasn't fair, and I can tell you how sorry I am or how I wish I could go back and fix it, but it's not going to change the fact that I messed up,"

"I could've messaged you more, not given you the chance to not talk to me," Lou shrugged.

"You always were good at pestering me," He squinted his eyes at her, she smiled. "I'm really sorry, Lou,"

"I know you are," 

"Can you forgive me?" Kit was scared of the answer, his heart stopped beating. 

"I think I can," She smiled, "Oh and me and Alfie... Just friends,"

"Oh thank god,"