Hawwa's Paradise

Chapter-13 #Rewritten

"It triggered my trauma. Because I started to have conflicting thoughts about Tara. It suffocated me. I doubted if she did or was doing something, emotional or physical with any of her colleagues. So when she brought up about us having a child, I said, I wasn't ready. There was a voice in my mind which questioned if the children she would be giving birth in this marriage would really be mine. What if she cheated and any of them were born from that? The only way would be to get a DNA test."

"Did she ever do anything for you to not trust her?"

"She used to be on Facebook and sometimes used to hang out with her former classmates."

"That's not suspicious by default." Hawwa shook her head. "Did she ever keep her phone with it's screen hidden or with her wherever she went?" She frowned. Qibriyah's eyes narrowed as he pondered over Hawwa's question.

"..No..."

"Are you answering or asking?" Hawwa commented.

"No." Qibriyah spoke louder. "But I had suspected just because she wasn't doing it then, didn't mean she wouldn't do it in the future."

"How has going to the psychologist help you with your insecurities?"

"It has made me less prone to overthink about such situations."

"I still want to court you. Then I would be able to know if we really are compatible." Hawwa shrugged. Qibriyah blinked.

"Fine." He replied after a few seconds.

"When did you last visit your parents?"

"Visited Baba last Saturday. And Ma, the Saturday before."

"Qibriyah." Khadija's voice appeared. Hawwa looked to her right to see Khadija standing by the nearest end of the dining table. "Come to eat."

Hawwa grabbed her glass of tang to finish off the drink. After she put the glass on the table, Qibriyah stood up. Then her. Both of them left the living room.

It was a few minutes after 5:30 when Qibriyah walked out of the door.

"Bye." Hawwa waved her hand standing at the door along with Khadija. Looking over his shoulder, Qibriyah nodded as he continued to walk. Then, Khadija closed the door.

While heading to her room, Hawwa entered a WhatsApp group on mobile.

I have finally started courting a man. I have liked him since I was thirteen.

Then dropping her mobile on the bed she started unwrapping her headscarf.

Wow. Congrats! What does he do?

She came to check on the group after changing into a shirt and pant. Namira had responded with four heart emojis.

He is an air force fighter pilot.

The message got seen and there was a Notification of Namira typing.

Cool. How older is he than you?

Hawwa smirked. But she hesitated before replying.

He is nineteen years older than me. He was born in January and I was born in February.

Huh???

This time there was a grimacing emoji in Namira's reply.

I prefer older men eleven to nineteen years older than me.

Hawwa typed.

Namira responded with a clown emoji.

He is handsome.

Hawwa messaged with a winking emoji.

Still weird.

Came from Namira.

I understand. I also find older women and younger men and same age pairings weird.

Keeping her mobile on the bedside table she left for the kitchen. There she saw Shaima doing the dishes. So, Hawwa took down the kettle from above the rack to make herself tea. 

She sat down at the dining table with a tray and her mobile. The tray was filled with a cup of tea and biscuits. While dipping a biscuit in the tea she checked Whatsapp to see if more of her friends responded. 

What do you guys have in common?

Lubaba responded. Taking a bite from the biscuit, Hawwa started typing with her left hand.

A few things for now.  

If you have liked him from before, then you must have told them about him. How could your family agree?

My Chachu and Chachi are against me courting him. But my Dadima supports me. 

Hawwa typed while holding the biscuit over the cup.

You should be on the watch for his red flags. I heard of younger girls being in abusive relationships with younger girls.

Hawwa read while dipping the biscuit in the tea. She understood her friend was concerned for her and Lubaba didn't know Qibriyah. But it didn't stop Lubaba's suspicion to offend Hawwa. She gulped.

Alright. But Insha'Allah he won't be like that.

She smiled slightly while sending the message. Then she finished the biscuit with a bite.

You should instead court an older guy within five years gap.

While chewing Hawwa typed.

Nope! I am content with what I got. And such a guy can also be abusive. It's the personality not the age.

The age gap is still gross.

Scroll to up see my response to Namira about the age gap.