The Final Cut

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Title notwithstanding, this isn't the final chapter, so don't freak out.

Ninja felt something prodding at his face. He wrenched his eye open, returning to a world of aches and pains. He looked up, seeing the grasshopper alien silhouetted against the blazing yellow lights.

The creature prodded him with its foot again and said something in its hissing, chirping language. Ninja had heard it many times before these past few weeks, and he'd learned it meant he needed to be up on his feet quickly.

He peeled himself off the sandy floor, crusted in his own blood. The memories flooded back; he'd lost a fight again. Moving around reopened a slash wound on his back. It had come from a tall bird-creature with vicious claws, his opponent. It had surprised him with a leaping kick that almost ripped a gash in his pouch. He didn't remember falling on the sands, just the pain and blood.

The grasshopper-alien grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and carted him away. It muttered angrily to itself all the way into the dark, musty basement, whereupon it tossed him in a cage. Literally -- it spotted one with its door left open and lobbed him inside like a beanbag. Ninja landed on his injured back, making him cry out. That and the slamming door awoke the cage's other occupant -- the fat bird that had tormented him when he first arrived. Too weak to do anything but hold his paws over his eye, he let the bird take its anger out on him with its sharp little beak.

He needed his sword. The steel katana would give pause to the animals bullying him. And maybe get revenge on the bug-creature holding him prisoner.

Ninja feebly swatted away the bird's beak and turned over. He tried to lick his wound as best he could. A stroke of luck finally blew his way, and the smell of his fresh blood unnerved the avian. It slunk to the corner of the cage with a few distasteful clucks. Ninja paused his preening to glare at it.

"戻って," he warned the bird. He managed to get most of the stinging sand out of his wound, and having done so, he sprawled himself out on his stomach to let it heal while he rested. Hopefully the bird would leave him alone in the meantime.

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His wound had barely scabbed over when he heard the dreaded sound of grasshopper feet tip-tapping in his cage's direction and then coming to a stop. He didn't move, hoping that maybe if he just lay still, the bug would leave him alone. Maybe it would mistake him for a rock or something. But no such luck. The cage door opened with a squeak, and a pair of pincers grabbed him. He dug his claws into the cage floor, but was pulled out anyway. The grasshopper creature held him as he made weak swipes of his paws and squeaked indignantly.

It chirped something, then carried him towards the metal doors on the far end of the room. Ninja's heart fell; those were the doors to the ring. It was fight night for him again. The crowd was here to see a helpless fur potato get its ass kicked by whatever the cool vicious creature of the week was this time.

The arena worked by releasing animals from wooden boxes held shut by spring-loaded doors, spitting them out onto the sands. The grasshopper alien squeezed Ninja into the mechanism and shut it tight. From all around the azure Bean, he could hear the crowd hollering. He struggled to listen for the noises of his opponent, in the vain hopes of knowing what it was and how he might stand a chance fighting it. After all, every warrior must know his foe. But not this time. He couldn't make out so much as a growl from whatever monster was going to beat him up this time.

A bell rang, and the door to his enclosure slid open with a swish. He was spit out into the sands and the glaring lights. In the other box, a long segmented creature crawled out, its giant pincers snapping. The freakish thing had hooves and chitin plates running down its back. It scuttled left and right a few times, calculating how it wanted to attack.

Ninja used his split second of lead time to spring off his feet and leap at the wall. If anything, it would give him a chance at an escape attempt. He gripped part of the metal paneling, but his claws weren't sharp enough to get a foothold. He slipped off the sheet of metal and landed right on the beast's head. Hissing, it shook its head violently in an attempt to fling Ninja away. He managed to scratch one of its eyes, but not before it successfully bucked him off and sent him skittering across the sands.

It came charging towards him again, flecks of green goo flicking from its pincers. Ninja rolled up on his feet and glanced around in a panic, hoping for anything that might help him. There was no chance of getting the creature from behind, not with the armored plates on its back. A head-one attack was a death wish. He had to go either over or under this thing.

So when it came charging, Ninja made another daring leap. He aimed at the same spot as before: the chunk of slightly dislodged metal, thin and about a foot and a half long. The beast nicked one of his ankles, but couldn't catch him. Ninja clung to the piece of metal, even though its raw edges sliced his skin. In fact, that gave him an idea. He hoisted himself up. Some spectators in the front row lifted their feet, ready to kick him down if he tried using his shelf as leverage to climb out of the pit. But that wasn't what he had in mind. He didn't expect it to hold his weight, and it didn't; it bent dramatically before catching on an edge and snapping off entirely. It clattered to the ground, with Ninja close behind.

The beast backed up and prepared to charge yet again, its pincers vibrating with hatred. Ninja wasn't going to run this time. Instead, he calmly wound the loose piece of electrical tape around the bottom of the blade, making a handle.

"エンガルド。"

Now, Ninja wasn't trapped in that ring with the monster. It was trapped in there with him. It charged, but his makeshift katana flashed like lightning. There was a shocked cry of "OH!" from the crowd as the beast's head separated from its body and dropped to the ground. The body stumbled around for a second before the legs crumpled and it too fell, one segment at a time. Ninja snorted.

The PA crackled, and the announcer said in Standard, "Well, that was unexpected...uh...give it up for the Bean Thing! Underdog of the year!"

Ninja kept a grip on his sword, in case they decided to bring out another creature in some kind of Gauntlet of Terror. In the stands, some patrons hurriedly got up and fled the building. A rusty old bell pealed.

In all the ruckus, no-one seemed to hear the ships landing outside. But they did notice when a group of heavily armed space marines broke down the doors and flooded the room, guns drawn.

"Stop! In the name of the Galactic Federation!"

Ninja heard the click of many guns being drawn in retaliation. A single blaster shot cut across the smoky room, striking the shackle attached to the head honcho's swanky chair. The small colorful horse it was restraining stood up, surprised to be liberated.

"As you can see, I'm a pretty good shot, 'Boss,'" a Federation officer boasted, looming seven feet tall on his Ald legs and protected in heavy alloy armor. "You're under arrest."

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: May 02, 2022 ⏰

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