Poetry|| Gonkillu||Soulmate AU [HIATUS]

9. Interestingly, Things Are More Complicated Than They Seem

Gon's POV~

Originally, my plans had been to scare Killua as a joke on the way to school, but he might've scared me a bit more, the way he was talking to himself.

His hands went up and down and all around and his face contorted into all different emotions, like confusion and anger and then realization and then confusion again.

"Uh, Killua?" I approached him. "Are you— Are you like...okay?"

"Gon." He turned and looked at me with the most dedicated eyes. "I was taking a nap and then, you'll never guess what happened."

"What—What happened?" I lowered my voice, leaning in. I was oddly intrigued. Did his house burn down? Did he get a full-ride scholarship to the college of his dreams? Did he die and rise days later like Jesus?

"My wrist got itchy."

Killua's POV~

"I'm concerned." He frowned. "Just scratch it?"

"I did. And it was still there! And boom, I've got a soulmate. Crazy, isn't it?" I looked at him with wild eyes. "Okay, for background, I have a poetry soulmate ability, which means I can talk to them via poetry written on my wrist. And after, like, three years of nothing, I finally got a poem."

He stared at me in silence, blinking occasionally, but mostly staring. I felt really awkward, as he kept walking and I kept walking and we both just kind of awkwardly stared.

"Wh—What's so unbelievable about me having a soulmate?" I joked.

"Nothing, nothing!" He exclaimed, snapping back to reality. "That's great! So are you gonna tell everyone? They'd stop picking on you if you did."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't have anything to show for it. For all they know, I could be lying to get the attention I lost as a soulmate-less freak." I scoffed. "But it's not much of a priority. I'm just excited."

A smile spread on my face as I looked down at my shoes.

"I would imagine." He laughed. "Congratulations, Killua. I really am happy for you."

"I'm happy for me too." I grinned. "But thank you. Means a lot."

Retz's POV~

I sat on the floor of my bathroom, crying over something so unimaginably stupid that I don't even actually care about, but I'm supposed to care about and now it's making me cry.

"Fuck!" I wanted to scream. "Fuck this, I hate being me!" But I didn't and I sat in silence, watching the second hand tick by slower than before. School would start in thirty minutes.

A knock at the door.

"Retz? Dude, you good?" Reese asked from the other side of the door. "I got somewhere to be at eight, so you might wanna hurry up if you want a ride."

"Yeah." I replied, masking the sick voice I had. "Yeah, I'll be out in a sec."

This morning, the electricity went out. It was random and just a consequence of hiring some janky electrician years back, but that pissed me off. My phone's at twenty seven percent, I can't straighten or curl my hair.

And it's not even like I care that much, really. But I'm Retz fucking Kessler. I'm supposed to give a damn about makeup and hair and boys and the latest fads.

I want to pull my hair into a messy bun and just be done with it — go off to school in sweats and one of my dad's old golf tees. But I can't. I can't.

I stood up and looked at my smeared eye makeup in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and my face was disgusting.

"Retz, can you—"

Reese quickly stopped upon opening the door. The last time she saw me cry was when I was born. Or maybe when my birthday party was rescheduled 'cause of rain. One of the two.

"C'mere."

She opened her arms to me for the first time in years and I hugged her for the first time in years. I needed this. I don't remember the last time I had a big sister to turn to, so this was what I needed.

I cried and I cried and I cried, and I didn't stop even when she rubbed my back and whispered words of encouragement. She didn't know why I was crying, but she still cared. I forgot people did that.

She pulled away from me and held my shoulders.

"Tell me what's upsetting you."

And I did.

I told her about being me, Retz Kessler. How I have to care about things I don't and hate things I like and never be truly me. How I have to always be perfect, picture and otherwise, because everyone expects nothing less.

And she listened. Intently, kindly, big sisterly.

"Alright." She nodded when I was done. "Here, take your hair stuff. Megan's got outlets at her house."

I tied my hair back lazily and followed Reese to her car, where she drove me to her girlfriend, Megan's house.

Upon arrival, the two of them comforted me. Even Megan, who knew nothing of the situation. They took me upstairs to Megan's room, in front of her huge mirror, where we played an assortment of Doja Cat and Chase Atlantic while we did my hair.

I didn't say a word to Megan, not one. Mostly because I was embarrassed, but I felt bad. I was mean to her, horrible really. And yet, she still bothered to help me. Brushing my hair gently and in sections like she was my big sister. I hope she and my sister get married so she will be.

When my hair was finally done and styled, Megan leant me an outfit for the day. Said it was the least she could do. The two of them even packed me a lunch. God, I don't even remember the last time I had a packed lunch.

And without saying a word, I hugged the two of them goodbye. Mostly Megan, because she deserved it, but Reese too, because she also deserved it, just a tad less. I walked to school from her house.

"Kessler." Lindberg said when I arrived almost forty minutes late. "Care to explain your tardiness?"

"No."

And I sat at my desk, not even bothering to look at Killua, whose eyes I felt on me nonstop throughout the period. I would too if my bully suddenly stopped, well, bullying me in the mornings.

I don't even really care about him. I don't pity him for being soulmate-less, I don't even care if he has friends or not; that isn't my business. But everyone else does, so so do I. And I guess that's the reason I bully him worse than everyone else. I wouldn't be surprised if he killed himself one of these days. Actually, I'm expecting it. I don't want him to, of course, but who am I to stop him? Just his bully.

"Retz." Killua caught up to me during passing period. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, Zoldyck. Mind your business, will ya?" I rolled my eyes and kept walking.

"Okay." He nodded. "Well, I don't want this so...here."

He handed me a croissant. It was warm and in a white napkin. The ones that are in the dispensers at the tables at restaurants.

"Did you poison it?"

"No. Just...a random urge to give it to you." He sighed. "If you don't want it, I'll give it to someone else."

"No, 's fine. I'm gonna go feed it to someone's dog or something." I scoffed as I continued on to my locker.

I, in fact, was not going to feed the croissant to someone's dog. It's surprising how tired one can get by simply crying, and I guess that worked me up an appetite. Thanks, Zoldyck.

sneak peek into retz's life??